And So It Begins, A New Dark Age

The Iraqis are building a wall around Baghdad to stop Jihad barbarians from driving into the city and blowing it and its people up.

If anyone thinks this is reminiscent of the later Roman Empire and the Dark Ages, they'd be right. The wall will be three meters high, made of concrete and backed up by a trench, or "moat."

Constantinople's walls were considerably larger and held back the barbarians until the 15th century. We'll see how long Baghdad's new wall lasts and have to ask how many other cities will follow suit. 

Some Americans believe that a wall should be built around Detroit, but that would be to keep the barbarians in.

Cheers,

LSP

Go Out And Get a Hat, in Calgary

After a short blast of living the downtown Calgarian dream, I fell back to Inglewood, which is nifty little neighborhood near the center of town.

Random Fridge Magnet -- Note former Detroit Mayor, with "entourage"

Inglewood's alright, it has shops, pubs, restaurants, an army surplus and Calgary's world famous barber gunshop. That's right, a gunshop that's also a barber, so you can go in there and get your hair cut and buy a gun. I'll go next week for a cut, it's a tradition.

Inglewood

As I walked around crunching my way through the snow, I noticed it was getting warmer, considerably so. It seemed like a Chinook was moving in, giving respite from the subzero, freeze your hair cold.

Your Old Pal

That meant a trip to the Chinook Center Mall, on McLeod Trail. I bought a hat from Lammles Western Store; it's a "Justin" and I wasn't able to get one in the right size or color in Texas. Well done, Calgary. You are a hat solutions provider.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Suspect in Detroit Carjacking

CCTV footage and a witness reconstruction, make Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, a prime suspect in a series of Detroit carjackings.

The most recent attack happened on Sunday at a gas station at McNichols Road and St. Mary’s Street. After purchasing Blunts, the carjackers ran up to a parked vehicle and robbed it's owner.

Carjacker Suspect

One of the carjackers was captured on in-store video surveillance, which agrees with the victim's description of one of his attackers as, "A balding, Eurolib technocrat, white Caucasian male."

Artist's Reconstruction

The images and description point to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who was recently involved in a mall brawl in a Detroit suburb and thrown out of a pawn shop on the Motor City's iconic 8 Mile Road.

Justin Welby in Mall Brawl

Police have appealed for information and warn the public that Welby is potentially dangerous.

Lambeth Palace was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Archbishop Justin Welby Thrown Out of Detroit Pawn Shop

Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, was thrown out of a pawn shop on Detroit's famous 8 Mile Road.

"This guy came in here claiming to be an 'Archbishop' and trying to sell me a miter with all these fish on it," said pawn shop owner, Les Rich, "I offered him five bucks and he went off on me, insulting Detroit. We had to kick him out, like all the other riff-raff. Don't mess with this great city, that's what I told him."

Detroit Street Scene

Trying to pawn his archiepiscopal regalia is a new low for Welby, who was recently photographed brawling over a flatscreen T.V. at a Michigan mall, on Black Friday.

Hands Off The Flatscreen, Justin.

Reports that Welby was seen hustling for spare change outside of Cobo Hall have not been confirmed by Lambeth Palace.

LSP

Texas Ghost House

There used to be more farms here, but many of these became uncompetitive and were bought out by larger operations. Sometimes the houses remain, derelict, being slowly reclaimed by nature; I looked at one today.

It wasn't large, a simple one story house, though it had two substantial stone chimneys, topped off with brick. I peered through the dirty windows, mindful of snakes, and saw that the furniture was still in place and the kitchen shelves still stocked. It was like a decaying time capsule that someone had left, expecting to return.

And not that long ago. The rusting Impala in front of the house was last registered in 2005, though an old plow had fallen into disuse long before that. It was becoming part of tree, which had grown up around it. 

There was a well, too, and you could see water flowing at its bottom. If the grid goes down I'll know where to go, if the ghosts don't mind company.

I left that place thinking about Detroit; chances are, the chimneys would have been in use.

There's a moral to this, if you care to draw it.

LSP  

The City of Brass

And the heart of a beast in the place of a man’s heart was given

From the City of Brass

They unwound and flung from them with rage, as a rag that defiled them
The imperial gains of the age which their forefathers piled them.
They ran panting in haste to lay waste and embitter for ever
The wellsprings of Wisdom and Strength which are Faith and Endeavour.
They nosed out and digged up and dragged forth and exposed to derision
All doctrine of purpose and worth and restraint and prevision:
And it ceased, and God granted them all things for which they had striven,
And the heart of a beast in the place of a man’s heart was given...

You can read the whole thing here, if you like. Kipling was writing about the Empire on which the sun never set, some think he's relevant today.

Kizmet,

LSP

Come on. Move to Detroit.

Detroit

It's tempting to write something about the crazed Norwegian Templar(?!) and the Jihad, or Amy Winehouse, or the peculiar speech delivered by Barak 'He's less of a man than Putin' Obama last night. 

Evil Madman

But the recent 'cash incentives to live downtown' caught my eye.

'Cash incentives to live downtown?' you ask, 'Where?'

Motor City

Detroit, of course. Under a new $4 million scheme to revitalize Motown, first time home buyers will get a $20,000 forgivable loan and renters a grant of $3,000 spread over two years. That's not all, existing owners living in Detroit's post-apocalyptic urban wasteland will be eligible for a $5000 'exterior improvement' grant.

Tempted? Neither am I. Though my old friend 'Red'  (why didn't he get in trouble for firing off a shotgun in an abandoned house last year - why?) might think of applying for the 'home improvement' money.

I'll suggest it when I visit next week before crossing the river to Canada and the comparative safety of Windsor.

Pray for rain.

LSP

Happy Independence Day!

Back in the day, I used to look out across the Detroit river on Independence Day, watch the fireworks, then listen to the running gun battles breaking out across the Motor(way) City; all from the safety of an apartment in Windsor. The next day you could read all about it, "In a brisk firefight outside the Bastille Bar and Grille, five midnight revelers were killed when assailants opened fire with AK 47s and Uzis. Another seven bystanders were wounded in the ensuing exchange of shots.A further unspecified number of persons were admitted to hospital throughout the night, suffering from gunshot wounds. These are mostly believed to have been caused by the 4th of July custom of discharging firearms into the air..." etc.


Perhaps you think I'm somehow "making that up"? Well, think again.


Whatever the case, have a blessed Independence Day and don't get into any tomfoolery with guns.


Cheers,


LSP

Motor(way) City

Life has a strange way of sending me to Detroit, but I'll spare you the backstory... regardless, after the trial of modern interstate air travel -- not dissimilar to catching a bus from Victoria Station to Canterbury in the '80s in terms of time and discomfort -- I clambered off the plane and into Motor City to see an old friend before going across the river to Canada.

'Red' was using a crowbar to jimmy up great slabs of concrete from his back yard when I arrived. He's fixing up his house you see, which is hard work at the best of times; till then it'll be a little bit Fight Club -- the house should look good when it's done though.

Remarkable city, Detroit; I'm in Windsor now, but if I get the chance I'll venture back across the river for a tour and some pictures, hopefully before the place reverts to wilderness.

Missing guns and horses -- must check out the local range, don't think there's much of a riding opportunity here, annoyingly.

Cheers,

LSP

Good old Detroit

You know the way it is, people 'phone in to send Easter greetings and it's all well and good. So it was with me, lovely to hear from old friends and family, including a close relative who persists in the Motor City experience. Our conversation ran something like this:

"Alright LSP, happy Easter!"

"Alright chap, great to hear from you! How's it going?"

"Good, you know, church, work..."

"Well, that's Easter for you."

"Yeah, you know..." awkward silence, then the first animal is jettisoned, if you'll forgive the phrase, "Yeah, I've gotta go to court on Tuesday."

"Oh."

"My shotgun went off."

"Ah."

"I've hired a lawyer."

"Right. So you'd been drinking?"

"Unnh, yennh."

"Just tell them that it went off in your back yard while you were cleaning it," said I, innocently. "Uonh, but it wasn't in my house," replied the gunman. "What do you mean, 'it wasn't in my house'?"

"No, it was, ummm, in an abandoned building down the road." He was feeling sheepish, you see, "But no-one was hurt!"

"Well that's alright then," I replied, as gruesome pictures flashed through the LSP cranium, "You know, there's this basic rule - don't mix booze, ammo, guns and the ghetto; keep them all separate, old boy.It's important."

"Yeah, well, they've got my shotgun now..."

"That's probably a good thing..."

There you go, an everyday tale of life in central Detroit. The wonder of it is that anyone bothered to call the police and a miracle that no-one was hurt. Why was he messing around with a loaded gun in the ghetto, we ask ourselves? Who knows - exploring, probably.

I tell you, much as I enjoy firearms (a lot) and support 2nd Amendment rights and say 'no' to the nanny state, 'progressives' etc. - I sometimes have to wonder if certain people are qualified to own weapons. Also, it seems to me that the holy Guardian Angels, which I believe in, have a vastly unfair workload.

I, for one, was fortunate to leave Detroit unscathed. But that was a very long time ago.

Shoot safe.

LSP

Motorway City

Years ago I left the booming city of London for, er, Detroit, and its oddly Logan's Run style 'Ren Cen'. Why? Good question and therein lies a tale. Regardless, a friend from England came for a visit and we wandered around town, looking at weeds growing out of the roads. "This isn't so bad'" said Horsemouth, "it's like Dalston." I thought that over for a moment, scanning the arcs for opposition, "Sure, Horsemouth, but this is the center of the city."

"Ah." replied my English friend.

Came as a bit of a culture shock, Detroit, God bless it, a place where nature's reclaiming its own. Speaking of which, here's a picture of the Motor City's former Mayor, 'Kwame', being released from gaol some time last year. He's in Texas now, I think.

Top body guard result.

Lord have mercy.

LSP