Episcopal Church Theology Driven Back

The Episcopal Church's (TEC) theology was dealt a serious blow yesterday, after air defense around Fort Worth drove the dwindling denomination's mystery bomber back to its secret base in New York.

Episcopal Church Theology Over Texas

Spotted earlier this week on its way to bomb Texas, the Episcopal Church's theology attempted to launch GAYDAM runway-denying munitions against the Diocese of Fort Worth, cloaked by a screen of TRANS Chaff. If successful, the GAYDAMs would have put a stay on proceedings to rehear TEC's case against the traditionalist Diocese of Fort Worth according to Texas' neutral principles of law.

GAYDAMs

However, TEC's bombs failed to deploy, with Judge Chupp denying the Episcopal Church's request for a stay and releasing $100,000 back to the Diocese of Fort Worth, which it had paid to the court as a bond. The rehearing will now take place as previously mandated by the Texas Supreme Court.

TRANS Chaff

The Episcopal Church's theology has stated its intention to appeal to the US Supreme Court.

I have a good mind to go off and shoot some guns in celebration.

LSP

Rise of the Robots

Scientists are predicting that robots will soon take over many of the jobs now held by humans and the U.S. is ahead of the trend, deploying state of the art war droids to the world's troubled hot spots.

Teeth

The Biden Mk.2 Teeth is currently in the Ukraine, where military strategists hope the replicant will serve as a badly needed NATO force multiplier. Teeth replaces an earlier robot, the Kerry, who was known affectionately to its controllers as Wooden Top.

Wooden Top

According to Andrew Anderson, CEO of the artificial intelligence (AI) company Celaton, robots like the Tooth and Wooden Top represent a technological breakthrough in processing power. 

Processing Power

“The artificial intelligence can read and understand the meaning of the whole documents with the help of patterns of words and phrases," stated Anderson in an interview with the Daily Mail.

Witch

Russian President Vladimir Putin, who is often referred to as a New Constantine, has responded to Wooden Top and Tooth by annexing the Crimea and sending troops to the border of the Ukraine and Russia. 

It remains unclear if a more deadly AI, the Witch, will be sent to the conflicted region.

Rumours that the Witch wants to become President of the United States are, unfortunately, true.

LSP

Episcopal Church Theology Spotted?

TEC Theology?

Baffled experts believe they may have spotted the Episcopal Church's (TEC) theology, flying high above Kansas City.

"There is no way to know the altitude and no way to judge its size as there is no point of reference," said Jeff Templin, who took the photo. However, Templin believes that the strange object "was quite high, at least the altitude passenger jets cruise over."

The Episcopal Church Flying High

While some have been quick to dismiss the mystery object as a stealth bomber or an alien spacecraft, others aren't so sure. "It's definitely not a B2," said one source who prefers to remain anonymous, "(it's) probably Episcopal Church theology on its way to bomb Texas."

Jefferts Schori, Crazed Boy Bishop, Mad Bomber

According to noted church lawyer, the Anglican Curmudgeon, TEC has spent well over $40 million bombing Christians with lawsuits in Texas and elsewhere in North America.

Black ops don't come cheap.

LSP

Christ is Risen! Alleluia!

Great turn-out at the Missions for Holy Week and Easter and now I must drive to Dallas, but here's some Chrysostom first:

O death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory? Christ is risen and you are abolished. Christ is risen and the demons are cast down. Christ is risen and the angels rejoice. Christ is risen and life is freed. Christ is risen and the tomb is emptied of the dead: for Christ, being risen from the dead, has become the Leader and Reviver of those who had fallen asleep. To Him be glory and power for ever and ever. Amen.

I like that, "the demons are cast down."

Have a blessed and glorious Easter,

LSP

Holy Saturday, Horus

The Body of Jesus is Laid in the Tomb

Christ lays in the tomb and though the churches are decorated for Easter, the Tabernacles are empty. So we wait in expectation of the Resurrection and the restoration of the Divine Presence. Part of that, for me, means reflecting on the Egyptian God, Horus.

Horus with Ani

Horus, we're told, was "born of a virgin" (he wasn't), "walked on water" (he was thrown in the Nile) and "died and rose again" (after being stung by a scorpion). Because of these striking similarities to Jesus, it's claimed that Christianity is just a reworking of ancient Egyptian mythology. But there's a problem with this. What did Horus look like? I'll tell you, he had a falcon head.

Make of that what you will.

LSP

Good Friday, A Warning

Behold the Cross

I wish you all a blessed and holy Good Friday, and to compound the penance, here's a picture of Nancy Pelosi with the "Andrus", at an Episcopalien water ritual somewhere in California.

Pelosi with the Andrus. Dangerous Space Creatures.

Pelosi and the "Andrus" are well-known, off-world, NWO shills. At all costs, do not let them into your house and be sure to do the exact opposite of anything they say. Failure to take this advice seriously has and will have disastrous consequences.

Be Careful,

LSP

Chrism Mass

Iker

I took a break from exotic game hunting to go to this morning's Chrism Mass at our cathedral, St. Vincent's, in Bedford; Bedford is a kind of suburb of Fort Worth. The Episcopal Church (TEC), which is suing our diocese for daring to say no to gay marriage, is keen to get its pink mitts on the cathedral. 

Pyrrhus

It'll be a Pyrrhic victory if they do. Millions of dollars spent on lawsuits to get an empty church, to say nothing of the moral downside.

Judas Betrays

Regardless of that, Bishop Iker preached an excellent sermon on the Last Supper, reminding us of our Lord's statement that one of those eating with Him would betray Him. "Is it I, Lord?" they asked. Apparently every one of them considered themselves capable of the crime. I'll leave you to draw the personal application, and the solution? Our Lord's Mandatum, to love one another as He loved us, acted out in the parabolic washing of feet. Powerful medicine against the snake pit of wickedness.

On that note, you may be glad to know I made my Confession. Not before time... all should, some must...

Blessed Holy Week,

LSP

Unholy Week

Gene Robinson & Mark

President Obama, Rainbow Ruler of the world's Magical Unicorn Herd, thought he'd get Holy Week off to a good start by inviting the most famous gay bishop ever, Gene Robinson, to give the closing prayer at the White House Easter Prayer Breakfast.

One of the Herd

Robinson, who broadcast the news via Twitter, was apparently surprised at the Rainbow Ruler's invite. OMG, Gene.

The question is, what God was he praying to? 

LSP

Bundy Ranch

Thanks, ZeroHedge

What's this! The Bureau of Land Management (BLM) has backed off on Operation Seize Cattle after... after... after it was revealed that the leader of the Senate's son had brokered a deal with the Chicoms to set up a solar power plant on the land. The phrase "sheer, brazen, lies," springs to mind.

Harry "Chicom" Reid

Seems that the BLM's official reason, to "save" the rare desert tortoise, holds about as much water as Sibelius having to step down as the leaderene of the HHS because of the rip-roaring success of Obamacare.

Desert Tortoise

Have a blessed Palm Sunday and Holy Week,

LSP

Hunt On

Legend has it that most of the world's Auodads live in Texas, as opposed to their native North Africa. That may or may not be true, but it's rare to get an invite to an Aoudad hunt and I wasn't slow to refuse. Good fun at a friend's ranch and a chance to shoot the wiley, skittish, North African mountain goat. So I loaded up the truck with guns and headed south.

Where's the pigs?

The first day we drove about in GWB's truck, scouting around, hoping for hogs and sure enough, a big black pig broke cover in front of the vehicle and out we got, fast as you like. Safety off, shoot! But the animal was moving fast and lived to fight again another day. Same story with a turkey, but this time a shot connected and the bird went down. Brisk business and a good result. Well done GWB.

Turkey

The next day it was Aoudads. We spent some time in a blind but didn't shoot. Long story short; it didn't seem right to take the shot and we packed up, full of Aoudad tension, to break for lunch, the plan being to get out again in the afternoon. I was going to skip, thanks to a deadline, but our Guide, TRF, (Top Ranch Foreman) suggested I come out for "a quick circle." 

LSP

Soon enough we were in the truck and on an Aoudad, half-hidden behind a bush on a bluff at around 150 yards. This was my shot and I didn't have time for another, thanks to the deadline, so it had to be right. I held on the animal's left shoulder and squeezed the trigger. Remember, it's not every day that you get to do this; was the shot on? Well, I didn't see the beast go down.

Well Done CML!

We clambered up the bluff to find out what had happened. I felt I'd shot high and missed but before long we found a significant amount of blood. The goat had been hit, but where was the body? Nowhere, apparently, and I began to think that I'd wounded it, which is a nightmare. But, if it had run off wounded, where was the blood-trail? It wasn't there. A disturbing mystery. 

GWB & TRF

My Wittgenstinian ally, GWB, solved it by looking over the edge of the bluff. Being a fan of formal logic, he'd worked out that the blood-trail must be where we weren't looking. The only place was over the bluff, and there it was, caught in its horns by a thicket; I'll leave you to enjoy the Abrahamic parallel. It wasn't large, but I'd killed it cleanly with a shoulder-shot and it was the animal that presented itself to me. 

MM got the Trophy

For me the hunt was over, but the rest of our party got to work, bringing in successively larger beasts as the day went on. The best went to MM, our hostess, who shot a trophy ram at 200 yards at the end of the day. What a good hunt! 4 shots, none easy, and 4 kills, the last being the best of all and that was as it should be; MM had given the invite.

Huge thanks to MM,

LSP

Confirmed!

Confirmand

One of the many benefits of living in LSPland is that you can give, and get, Confirmation instruction at the range. It's one of Lent's more pleasant duties and it gave me the chance to shoot a Tikka T3, chambered for .270. I liked it, but thought my Remington 700 had a bit more substance -- it's a bit heavier, for a start; I managed to shoot better with the 700, considerably so. Still, that was probably my fault, not the Tikka's.

Senator Yee

In other news, a member of the congregation, who'd just defended her dissertation on the political philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas, disagreed with me when I suggested our Ruling Elites were somehow "corrupt." I didn't press the point, but I will leave you with California State Senator Leland Yee, who has been indicted for gun-running and corruption.

Shrimp Boy

According to Reuters, Yee was arrested along with Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow, a prominent figure in California's criminal underground. Yee is the third California State Senator to face criminal charges this year. He is an enthusiastic supporter of gun control.

I wish that that was all. But it isn't.

God bless,

LSP

Wrath of God

Heard tell hailstones big as bowling balls been smashing sunroofs in Denton. Wrath of God, friends.

Don't mess with this, fools.

Likewise, Putin, Russia's autocrat, unfurled the banner of the Madonna of Kazan over the Black Sea.

Don't mess with that, Banksters.

LSP