Russian Town Ruled By Bears

According to the Primorska newspaper, a Russian town of 21,000 people near the border with China, Luchegorsk, is now ruled by two bears, a brown bear and a Himalayan bear. The two large bears wander the streets of their town, forcing scared locals to stay indoors.

A further 36 bears are reportedly circling Luchegorsk, in what one one female resident described as a military operation.

"Our hunters say that they looked at the area from a helicopter - there are crowds of these bears, like army units. My friends told me bears smashed their three yards where they keep bees. We are scared to walk outside. All doors are shut in kindergartens, there are written warnings everywhere walking with kids is allowed only in certain areas."

Some claim that Washington DC is ruled by a bear. That is as absurd as it is preposterous.

Your Pal,

LSP

The Government's Back!

And the Government's Back.

I see there's been some sort of deal, in which members of the government have voted to bring... the government back! Remarkable.

Who was it that said, "The turkeys keep voting for Christmas."

Illuminati Shill Bear

In related news, one of the little people in Miley's neat bear act left the stage "shivering and crying" because she was treated as "less than human", like some kind of fake bear. You can look it up on the internet if you doubt me.

Real Bear

Well, there's bears and there's bears.

Cheers,

LSP