Showing posts with label Jussie Smollett. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jussie Smollett. Show all posts

Friday, December 1, 2023

Black Mischief

 



Do you remember Juicy, the improbably named Jussie Smollet who claimed he was attacked by deranged MAGA supporters in Chicago a few years back? Sure you do, Juicy was innocently wandering around the Windy City when two MAGA thugs tipped up, noosed him and poured bleach over the innocent POC's skin.

How hideous and such racism, except that the MAGA lynchers were in fact Juicy's Nigerian personal trainers. Fast forward to today and Juicy's lost an appeals court hearing and will have to return to gaol to serve the rest of incredibly light 150 day sentence.




At Juice's initial hearing, Cook County Circuit Court Judge James Linn lambasted the race hoaxer: "You’re just a charlatan pretending to be a victim of a hate crime. Your very name has become an adverb for ‘lying.’"

Smollett used to be an actor in some show no one's ever heard of and what can we say, America's so incredibly racist you have to make it up.

Your Pal,

LSP

Saturday, March 19, 2022

Stupid Busy

 




Good Lord it's been an intense few days. Well, no rest for the wicked. Speaking of which, hate hoaxer Juicy's been released pending appeal. He lied to the world saying he was attacked by vicious MAGA racists who were really two Nigerian brothers, Empire extras to boot. Juice paid them $3,500, by check, idiotically.




Then there's Hunter Biden. Turns out the Big Guy's son's laptop is, in fact, the real deal because, you know, fact check all about truth. Too bad our media's become an agitprop lie factory running at full speed. And where will it end?




That remains to be seen. In the meanwhile, this is MAGA country.

Your Pal,

LSP

Thursday, March 10, 2022

JUICY!

 


We all know what happened. Super famous celebrity Empire talent Juicy Smollet was attacked in Chicago outside a Subway, where zhe was getting a sammich. 

Yes, at 2 am, in -20* weather, Juicy was savaged by two men in ski masks who put a noose on the world famous screen idol, poured bleach on zhim, hurled racial slurs and shouted, horrifically, "This is MAGA country!" before running off into the freezing night.



Guilty, M'Lud

What an horrendous hate crime! Except that it wasn't. Leaving aside curious anomalies like bleach freezing at -20, Juicy's story began to unravel when it was revealed that zhir attackers were, in fact, two Nigerian brothers who were Empire extras and physical trainers. Smollett paid them $3,500, by check, idiotically.

Jericho Green gives magisterial commentary on Juicy's faux hate crime here, here, and here, check it out. In the meanwhile, the hapless victim of his own risible screenplay's been found guilty by a Chicago court and has to serve 30 months felony probation, 150 days in gaol and pay a $120k fine.


#MillSoc Fraud

Here at the Compound, Blue snarled, "I think that lying thespian fraud got off real light." I looked at the aged cow dog, curled up on a Moslem rug with his absurdly spotted tail and replied, "Quite."

As of 2022 Juicy's net worth was an estimated #MillSoc $1.5 million. So utterly oppressed. 

Cheers,

LSP


***

UPDATE JUICY SAYS NOT SUICIDAL


If I did this, then it means I stuck my fist in the fears of black Americans in this country for over 400 years and the fears of the LGBTQ community. Your honor, I respect you and I respect the jury, but I did not do this, and I am not suicidal. And if anything happens to me when I go in there, I did not do it to myself, and you must all know that. I respect you, your honor. I respect your decision. Jail time [pause]. I am not suicidal.

 

What?!? Why would this rich, successful, protected class thesp be driven to suicide? Did Juicy somehow annoy somebody? Magnum mysterium. 

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Jussie Subpeonaed!


Multiple subpeonas have been issued on Jussie Smollett in an attempt to obtain records concerning  what appear to be several hoax hate crimes, a fraudulent hate letter and the now famous MAGA hat bleach noose lynching.

Juicy's story began to unravel after two Nigerians told Chicago PD that the actor paid them to stage the crime and mailed the bogus hate letter himself.

Juicy is now officially a suspect and detectives are presenting evidence before a Cook County Grand Jury.

LSP

Monday, February 18, 2019

Lies Lies Lies



Evil's characterized by deceit; as the Good Book reminds us, Satan's the "Father of Lies." With that in mind, did some higher power convince the infamous luvvie, Jussie Smollett, to lie and cry about being attacked by MAGA supporters?





Was it merely lust for money, fame and socialist celebrity fortune that drove Smollett to allegedly pay two Nigerians $4000 to stage a fake hate crime, or did someone put Jussie up to it? One black nationalist seems to think so, and who knows, maybe the Empire star was the willing dupe stooge of a sinister Democrat plot.





Speaking of dupe stooge, millionaire socialists flocked to Jussie's laughably unbelievable cause, Cher, Alyssa Milano, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris and Cory Booker, to name just a few. They apparently believed the lie.




And so perhaps does Jussie, who vehemently denies paying his Nigerian body building friends to play the part of  Chicago's, ahem, two hate-filled Trump supporters. Have you noticed how liars often end up believing their lies? Curious but true. To return to the question.




Did Jussie cook it all up on his own or was he acting to the beat of someone else's drum? As we ponder this weighty possibility and the chain of cause and effect which leads back to the ancient serpent himself, ask yourself this. Why does the left keep manufacturing hate crimes? 

Surely not because they're peddling a lie.

Cheers,

LSP

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Valentines Day Round Up



Happy Valentines Day from this small slice of rural Texan paradise, and what a day it's been! 


Don't Cry Luvvie

Hate hoaxer luvvie Jussie Smollet's been found out, allegedly, as just that, a hate hoaxer. Why? Because his character was being written out of the smash hit series Empire. Have you ever even watched Empire? No, neither have I. Two Nigerians are reportedly under investigation.


Deranged

Then there's the Wall, which everyone loves, unless you're a virtue signalling, vote hungry Democrat. Evidently the God Emperor's going to sign a pathetically funded congressional spending bill, then declare a national emergency and build the Wall. 

Pelosi doesn't like this idea, predictably. But question, how much have lawmakers been paid to oppose the Wall? I mean, it's ridiculous to think that US congresspersons would have anything whatsoever to do with the Cartel millions, especially if they're socialists, right?


Demented Millionaire Socialist

Speaking of Democrats, Amazon's pulled plans to build a New York HQ thanks to protests from Ocasio Ten Mill Cortez and other progressively wealthy socialists. It's OK for her, she has a job and a Netflix deal, not so much the 25,000 people who would've been employed by the repellent Bezos.

Who knows, maybe Amazon will relocate to Dallas like everyone else. In the meanwhile, Poor Little Angel McCabe gave an interview on 60 Minutes, describing yet another aspect of the slow-mo coup against Trump. 


Look, it's Weezer! Just kiddin'. Poor Little Angel and his buddy Rod

Little Angel told the world that he authorized an investigation into Trump's "obstruction of justice" and nefarious dealings with the Russians after the God Emperor fired Lyin' Comey, despite no evidence whatsoever. 

Lindsey Graham's calling for Little Angel to appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Trump blasted the Angel, Comey, Rosenstein gang on Twitter, and fair play to him. Good luck, lock 'em up.




In other news, Melania looked great in pink today and a Russian town's overrun by bears.

Cheers,

LSP

Monday, February 4, 2019

The Bleached Lie Of Gayness



Shocking video evidence of Jussie Smollett's crazed racist attackers has finally emerged, thanks to surveillance camera footage handed over to Chicago police.

One fascist thug appears to be wearing appalling plaid trousers while the other sports the distinctive garb of a Klansman. 




Smollett is a beloved GaySoc actor, famous for his starring role in the multi-season, smash hit series Empire. His savage, bigoted, Subway-sandwich-scorning assailants are believed to live in Virginia.

The Governor's mansion declined to comment.

LSP