Showing posts with label Jeb! total abject failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeb! total abject failure. Show all posts

Monday, September 19, 2016

Will Solar UFO Save Hillary?



Remarkable footage shows what appears to be a UFO, orbiting the sun. Experts are speculating that the mysterious object is "sucking energy" from the sun to power Hillary Clinton's flagging efforts to win the White House.

According to one UFOlogist, video footage "shows three long appendages protruding from a main object. It also shows a fourth arm… That is more than two times long as the higher arms. All four arms are solid objects, not trails. 


Orbiting UFO

"It's sucking energy from the star to beam back to Hillary. She needs the extra power."

Hillary recently told a rally in Philadelphia that she was "discouraged" and "depressed."


“Now of course, politics can be discouraging,” stated Clinton to supporters at Temple University, “This election in particular can be down right depressing sometimes.”


Low Energy


Maybe that will change when the mystery starship begins sending badly needed solar power  to Hillary's faltering low energy campaign, but some observers aren't convinced.


Down Right Depressing

"It's just a piece of space junk left over from Jeb!'s dismal campaign," said one source on the condition of anonymity. "All the sun energy in the solar system couldn't save him and it won't help her, either. She's just low power. Maybe she's drained by the 'Oh Shit guy' and the ongoing email disaster."

Useless space junk left behind by Jeb!, or desperate hi-tech experiment to save Hillary's bid for power?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Saturday, February 20, 2016

And This One's For Jeb!



As Jeb! folds gracefully back into the wing-back chair of the elite country club that you couldn't ever hope to join in a million years night we, here at Team LSP, think it only right to play his song, maybe for the last time. And if you notice any disharmony, or lack of energy, well, so be it.

Goodnight, Jeb!, you were awesome, except that you weren't.

LSP