Miserable Offenders

It sounds simple and it should be simple. As the heat climbs ever higher, turn on the AC and enjoy the cooling blast of chilled air. 

That's the myth. The reality is you turn on the air and all you get is a groan and a hiss as the temperature in the house approaches ovenlike intensity. 

Broken Rubbish

What do you do when that happens? Get out the fans, open the large screened windows and start to melt while you call the HVAC tech. But hey, whoever said the War on Weather'd be easy?

El Nino Will Build The Wall

Speaking of which, Senator Ted Cruz has sensibly suggested that we use El Nino's confiscated millions to build the much-needed border wall. Good call.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Texas Floods!

Those of you who know I35 know that it's a difficult, treacherous and brutish highway. Now it's flooded, and desperate refugees make their way over the watery grave of this once great transit corridor on the floating debris of abandoned farms and derelict strip malls. 

A Typical Texas Street Scene

It's like Waterworld, but worse, far worse. Smart people had boats and got to them in time, others had the good fortune, or was it good sense? to live on high ground. They were the lucky ones.

El Nino

If only this once great state had had the foresight and sheer common sense to acknowledge the settled science of anthropocentric global warming and pay its weather tax. If only. Now that opportunity is gone and Texas is yet another victim, a casualty, in the War on Weather.

Your Friend,

LSP

The Baptism of Christ

It's good to be back in Texas and we celebrated the Baptism of Our Lord today. I suggested that Christ's baptism served as a model, or template for our own, and encouraged everyone to renew their baptismal vows.

Part of that means renouncing the "world," as well as the flesh and the Devil, and I asked one of the congregations what that meant. "Just what are the 'evil powers of this world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?'" I questioned, in a display of stunning homiletic brilliance, "Some would say 'Global Warming' or would that be 'Climate Change?'" Everyone laughed at that. 

Speaking of which, El Nino's been captured in Mexico, thanks to Sean Penn and Nino's vainglorious desire to make a Narcos style biopic. But the question is, how long will the notorious weather criminal kingpin stay in jail?

God bless,

LSP

Winning The War on Weather

We're locked into a vicious, no-holds-barred War on Weather. El Nino is on the loose and running wild, sometimes it rains, or even snows, at other times it's hot; sometimes it's sunny, at other times it isn't. Our adversary is cunning, and no one knows for sure when, where and how the Weather will attack. And that's why it's important to be prepared.

Part of that means having the right kit to do the job, and here at the Compound we recommend MilitarySunHelmets.com as an invaluable toolkit for all those who have dedicated their time, resource and yes, lives, to this struggle against our implacable enemy.

MilitarySunHelmets.com is especially useful to those of us who live in areas of the world which are hot, such as Texas, California, or Australia, in all those many places where the sun hasn't yet been defeated by our rulers' Coalition of the Willing.

With that in mind, Team LSP is delighted to offer you this important resource, and we're sure that you'll find it as useful as we have, in the fight we all share, the War on Weather.

Arduus Ad Solem,

LSP

El Nino Calls Out ISIS

Notorious weather bandit and cartel kingpin, El Nino, has threatened ISIS leader, Al Baghdadi, after ISIS interfered with a drug shipment.

“You [ISIS] are not soldiers. You are nothing but lowly p*ssies. Your god cannot save you from the true terror that my men will levy at you if you continue to impact my operation."

Al Baghdadi

“My men will destroy you. The world is not yours to dictate. I pity the next son of a wh*re that tries to interfere with the business of the Sinaloa Cartel. I will have their heart and tongue torn from them.” El Nino said in an email, cartelblog.com reported.

El Nino is on the run, after escaping from a maximum security prison in Mexico, and is popularly known as "Shorty."

It seems a new front has opened in the war on ISIS, but who will win? Shorty, or Baghdadi?

The bets are on,

LSP

Another Day in The War on Weather

It's another typically cold, rainy day in Texas, and smart citizens are staying inside by the fire, cleaning guns, loading magazines and turning Thanksgiving leftovers into pies. 

It was hot here, once, but that was before El Nino broke loose and started his current reign of weather extremism. 

El Nino

Thank the "higher power" that our Commander-in-Chief takes the War on Weather seriously. He's taking some time off from watching reruns of the Danish Girl and Transparency to meet with world leaders in Paris next week, where they'll work on a strategy to defeat The Weather. 

Must. Raise. More. Money. To Beat The Weather

It'll be a veritable War Cabinet against the enemy that threatens us all with destruction. And maybe our War Leaders will manage to tax the Weather into submission, which will make the atmosphere colder, which will turn Texas hot again.

We live and hope.

LSP

Clean Your Gun, it's Sunday

It's a pretty typical Sunday afternoon, here at the Compound; Gun cleaning, a late lunch consisting of a bollo and something advertising itself as "Beef Bologna." I find Duke's mayonnaise helps with this, but hey, go for second best Hellman's, there's no "rule."

Iraqi Forces Wave Captured Weather Flag

As I reflect on this, my mind goes to this morning's Gospel, in which Jesus warns of "false Christs" and "false prophets." No shortage of those, right about now. Speaking of which, Bernie Sanders blames our ancient adversary, The Weather, for the recent terrorist attacks in Paris.

El Nino

Does The Weather know no bounds? Will it stop at nothing in its ongoing attempt to destroy our civilization and overthrow everything we hold right and true? Apparently not, which is why our first installment of Climate Change Refugees landed in New Orleans this Saturday. I guess they're running from El Nino.

What. Could. Possibly. Go. Wrong.

LSP

El Nino Escapes

The War on Weather took a serious turn for the worse with the dramatic escape of El Nino, a renowned weather kingpin.

El Nino's jailbreak has brought a surge of humid, wet and stormy weather to the once arid state of Texas, causing local residents to suggest taking matters into their own hands.

"El Nino's loose and wrecking everything," said one angry Texan, "The Government isn't doing anything about it, but I've got guns and there's only one of it. We're fixing to shoot it."

In related news, the oil giant, Exxon, is being investigated by New York's Attorney General for climate crime, and traitorously giving aid to our enemy, The Weather.

That wouldn't have anything to do with the company's partnership with Rosneft, or it's stunning failure to sponsor the Clinton Foundation. And the Benghazi massacre was caused by a video that no-one had ever seen.

El Nino is still at large.

LSP