Showing posts with label DNA testing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DNA testing. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Rogue Bishop Found Deep in the Tundra?

Rowan

Rumours that the elusive former Bishop of Calgary, Derek Hoskin, had left earth along with his mythically small denomination ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), may be unfounded.

Anglican Bishop?

A crack team of Russian scientists have just concluded DNA testing on hair samples taken from deep within the frozen wasteland of Siberia, leading them to speculate that they have discovered a new species, part man, part monkey.

Derek

According to scientists at the Universities of Moscow and St. Petersburg, the hair "came from a human-like creature which is not a Homosapien yet is more closely related to man than a monkey. We think we have found an Anglican Bishop, possibly Derek Hoskin."

Rowan?

Previous attempts to verify supposed sightings of Derek Hoskin have failed due to lack of evidence, but three separate DNA tests of the "yeti hair" may put the enigma to rest. A fourth test is set to take place in the United Kingdom.

An alternative theory suggests that the mysterious hair may come from the outgoing Archbishop of Canterbury.

Derek? Or Rowan?

Neither Lambeth Palace nor the Diocese of Calgary were available for comment.

LSP


Monday, March 5, 2012

Starchild Space Alien?


Ground-breaking scientific research has revealed that a mysterious skull, discovered in a Mexican tunnel, may not be human.

After extensive DNA testing, the outsize cranium, popularly known as "Starchild", was shown to have different mtDNA than normal humans, with a much larger number of nucleotides than a usual person.


This has lead some experts to speculate that the Starchild is a space alien, “foreign to normal human genetics within the framework of that subject as it is currently understood... definitely not from planet Earth."

ACoC Bishop
Others disagree. "The Starchild isn't a space alien, it's a hybrid," said one source, "It's probably just the swollen skull of an ACoC bishop. Part human, part something else."

Human, hybrid or alien, Starchild remains a mystery. ACoC continues its journey into the far reaches of the stellar void.

LSP