War Droid!

Far-sighted readers will recall that the U.S. deployed two state-of-the-art war droids to eastern Europe's troubled Ukraine, Senator John Kerry, affectionately known to its controllers as "Wooden Top", and Joe Biden, call sign Teeth. 

Teeth, What a Disaster

The replicants were tasked with a simple mission; stop, at all costs, the eastern region of the Ukraine from declaring independence and joining Russia. Now, following Wooden Top's dismal failure and Teeth's humorous at best underperformance, the U.S. has deployed a third battle-bot.

"Hunter" Biden, classified as Teeth Mk II, has joined the Board of Directors at Burisma Holdings, the Ukraine's largest private gas supplier.

Immoral Biden Class War Droid

Meanwhile, the U.S. military is spending over $7 million on a groundbreaking new program to develop moral robot AIs. According to Gizmodo:

Over the next five years, the Office of Naval Research is awarding $7.5 million in grant money for university researchers to build a robot that knows right from wrong.

A Fighting Monkey

As you know, I'm not a betting man, but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any four of your priestesses that the Office of Naval Research (ONR) will go over budget on this particular venture.

Good luck, ONR.

LSP

Rise of the Robots

Scientists are predicting that robots will soon take over many of the jobs now held by humans and the U.S. is ahead of the trend, deploying state of the art war droids to the world's troubled hot spots.

Teeth

The Biden Mk.2 Teeth is currently in the Ukraine, where military strategists hope the replicant will serve as a badly needed NATO force multiplier. Teeth replaces an earlier robot, the Kerry, who was known affectionately to its controllers as Wooden Top.

Wooden Top

According to Andrew Anderson, CEO of the artificial intelligence (AI) company Celaton, robots like the Tooth and Wooden Top represent a technological breakthrough in processing power. 

Processing Power

“The artificial intelligence can read and understand the meaning of the whole documents with the help of patterns of words and phrases," stated Anderson in an interview with the Daily Mail.

Witch

Russian President Vladimir Putin, who is often referred to as a New Constantine, has responded to Wooden Top and Tooth by annexing the Crimea and sending troops to the border of the Ukraine and Russia. 

It remains unclear if a more deadly AI, the Witch, will be sent to the conflicted region.

Rumours that the Witch wants to become President of the United States are, unfortunately, true.

LSP