Showing posts with label Austin hippies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Austin hippies. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Solstice!



Yes, you got that right, it's the Solstice, the longest day of the year, a day when hippies come out to play and sing. 




In England that means dusting off the antlers, putting on your unicorn mask and heading off to The Stones for mysticke revelry. 


Keep it Clean, Hippies

If you're a top-level hippy, you can even dress up like a druid wizard. All good, harmless fun, eh?


Face Painting

Sure it is, until you wake up from a crazed body painting session and discover someone's ripped off your giro, leaving you possessed by a Special Brew demon.


The Magic Of The Stones

Here at the Compound we're not marking the Solstice by travelling to Austin's famous fiberglass stone circle, much less its superior English forbear, heck, we didn't even make it to Burning Man. But we are saying this.


Hose Them Down

If you meet the hippy on the road, hose it down, AR15 optional.

Love and Peace,

LSP

Thursday, January 12, 2017

MAGA Shines Upon Texas



The MAGA Light shines brightly in Texas, perhaps because Rick "He May Be A Fool But He's Our Fool" Perry is the nation's new Energy Secretary. Well, there was plenty of energy spilling out of the heavens on the way to Mass this evening.

And there was steak, which is cheap and plentiful in Trump's America. I mean for goodness sake, you can buy a solid Threeper for $15 at the commissary.


MAGA At Every Level

I like Strips, seared in heavy metal, brought to heat in a 400* oven and served with whatever. Maybe vegetables, maybe not. Some, most, would call that winning. Unless they're Austin vegans who live off tofu, bark, nuts and other people's money.


Austin Hippies Goofing Off

They scorn the MAGA Light, like Soros, who lost a billion big ones after the election. Bad luck, George, you lose, Trump wins.


Hangin' At The Tower

In other news, Le Pen was seen in the Golden Tower. Who knows, maybe France will become great again, too.

Ban the Burqa,

LSP

Monday, August 31, 2015

Texas Border Overwhelmed By Migrant Surge!


A wave of immigrants threatens to overwhelm Texas' already hard-pressed border, as an unprecedented surge of Californians attempt to enter the Lone Star State.

Californians Attempting to Enter Texas

An estimated 600,000 Californians have swarmed into Texas, trying to escape deteriorating living conditions in the one-time Golden State, which is characterized by drought, oppressive taxation and soaring costs of living.

Militia Defend Texas Border

The flood of Californians has caused citizen's militias to mobilize in defense of the border, and what they see as Governor Rick Perry's failure to secure his state from the unprecedented surge of Californian immigrants.

A Makeshift Camp of Californians

"Rick's alright," stated one militia commander, on the condition of anonymity, "But he's not the sharpest stick in the pack. He invited all these Californians here thinking they'd boost the economy and vote for him. 

Fire on the Mountain

"All they do is thieve, trash everyone's land and lay around high all day. They won't even vote for him, they're like a Trojan horse. That's why we're mobilizing, to close our border with California and stop this threat. We don't want Texas to turn into some kind of shakedown street."

Californian Border Surge

Governor Perry invited Californians to move to Texas in 2013, stating that it was "impossible to start a business in California." It appears that his invitation has been answered.

Typical Austin Park Scene

The City of Austin is estimated to be at least 92% Californian.

Your Pal,

LSP

Monday, August 10, 2015

CHL Texas


It took a couple of months to process, but my CHL came through the other day. This has encouraged me to get another pistol, a Gen 4 Glock 21.

Austin

One security systems consultant commented, "Texans should be afraid, very afraid." Well, maybe, but only in Austin, and they're mostly not Texans anyway.

A Glock 21

What is it they say"The right to self-defense and to the means of defending oneself is a basic natural right that grows out of the right to life."

Gun Rights,

LSP

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Texas Passes FFHA


The State of Texas has just passed legislation allowing shop owners to restrict thieves from entering their premises, and angry Austin locals are furious.



"The FFHA puts Texas back in the dark ages," stated one outraged Travis County resident, "It's like the Nazis have taken over, why should I have to use the side door? That's discrimination and it's barbaric."

Governor Greg Abbott signed the Freedom From Hippies Act (FFHA) into law after receiving complaints from shopkeepers and small businesses about hippies stealing merchandise, and driving away customers.



"It's not discrimination, it's just common sense," said Abbott, "Business owners have a right to protect themselves from thieves, and the FFHA guarantees that. This is mostly an Austin problem, but we need statewide protection."



However, major corporations are threatening sanctions against the Lone Star State. Apple CEO, Tim Cook, has announced that the tech giant may stop doing business in Texas, and Facebook is reportedly considering suspending the state's social media accounts.



Governor Abbott remains adamant that the FFHA will remain in place, despite these threats, "The Texas economy is booming and this new Act will help ensure that continues, with or without Tim Cook."

Hippies, use the side door.

LSP

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Thugs v. Hippies, in Austin


If you live in Austin, which is the Capitol of Texas, chances are you're a hippy, or you know one, or both. That's just the way it is in Austin.

Typical Austin Street Scene

Austin, for hippies, is one big adventure playground; but be careful, Hippy. Take a few steps across the line that is I35 and your thieving ways  may not go down too well. Have a look at this video and see if I'm not right.

Hippy Running From Thug

Others are more prosey. Here's Katie Friel, writing for Culture Map Austin.

"It's almost Shakespearean that this fight happened where it did, barely a block east of I-35. This traditional barrier of Austin's white versus black — of 'us' and 'them' — has, in recent years, become the heart of gentrification in Austin. This corner sets the stage for a disturbingly violent act, charged with anger and full of hateful language. And it isn't just the violence that is disturbing, but the way we seemed to perpetuate this violence by sharing it on social media with the same unwavering words: 'thugs' versus 'hippies.'"

Sink Me, the Monkey has it.

Thugs v. Hippies? I'd say that the long-haired layabouts in the video got off rather lightly, and that the Thugs showed uncommon restraint.

Now I'm not a betting man, but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any 5 of your priestesses that the thugs have it, any day of the week.

Fight on,

LSP



Saturday, October 11, 2014

Texas is Great, but What About Austin?


Texas is alright. It's a God, Guns and Country Life kind of place, where you can still burn coal and wood in your fireplace and have a healthy distrust of big government and corrupt Washington croneyism. No wonder business is booming and people are heading south from all over America to live in Texas. Then there's Austin. Southern home of the hope and change Hive Mind. 

Here's what someone had to say:

"If you’ve never been to Austin, there’s a fair chance you’ve still heard about how strange a place it is. It’s true. There are lots of hippies, even more hipsters, people wearing clothes you wouldn’t put on your pet iguana, and people not wearing any clothes at all."

Get a Job, Thieves

And maybe you think that's all innocent and harmless? Think again, while they thieve your wallet and trash your backyard.

Hippies Trashing a Park in Austin

Don't get me wrong; some good people live in Austin. And that's why we're riding south, to liberate that city.

God bless,

LSP

Friday, August 29, 2014

Heading Home


All too soon my Northern exeat was over and I headed back across the bridge to the U.S., where I was given the third degree at the border by an overzealous border guard. "Why were you in Africa?" he asked. "For the hunting, officer." (I wish) But no matter, one truck search over and I was on my way. 

I want this building in Windsor

I stopped outside of Nashville, again, because I'm a traditionalist and I like El Jardin's Mexican food and frozen maragaritas. The next day I drove through to Dallas, stopping at Texarkana to gas up and get a hamburger. Some guy in a fishing shirt wandered over to a Yukon that was waiting in the drive-through line and started swearing at the driver, who looked understandably scared. I watched this from the comparative safety of the side of my pickup, waiting for the shot, but there wasn't one. A vicious little scene inside the Texarkana goldmine.

A Hippy.

An hour or two later Dallas rose out of the heat haze as the traffic roared into town from Rockwall. One day, I suppose, it'll be a ruin and, or, a very large mound, but for now the city prospers. It has few hippies, unlike Austin, where they're a menace.

Good to be back in Texas and, of course, the South.

LSP

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Leave, Hippies.


State after state is joining the wildfire grass roots movement to leave the Union, and who can blame them? Texas is leading the pack, with over 90,000 people signing a petition to exit the United States.

Typical Austin "Street Art"

But one Texan town is holding out against the popular surge of anti-Washington sentiment. Austin, home to Texas' vibrant music scene and thousands of hippies, wants to stay put in the land of hopium. 

Austin Hippies Acting Up


According to the Daily Caller, Austin's hippies have signed a counter petition, threatening to leave the Lone Star State if it leaves the Union.

Fleeing Texas

Off you go then, hippies. Use the back door.



No exceptions.

LSP