Lone Star Parson

Open Carry?

2012-01-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

After the second Mass of the day I enjoy talking with the congregation over coffee and I like the conversation which usually follows a pattern. Horses, the price of feed, fencing, theology (today it was transubstantiation and God's timeless omniscience), and guns; sometimes the odd military anecdote. Things nearly got a bit heated this morning:

LSP: Why is Texas so anti open carry?

Congregant 1: I don't know, maybe it's because of Austin and its hippies. Ask him.

LSP: Why no open carry here?

Congregant 2: This state legislature will never pass that! Too many illegals running around and we can't have 'em carrying guns.

Congregant 1: That doesn't have anything to do with it, they can't legally buy a gun anyway.

Congregant 2 (with heat): It'll never happen! It's a matter of safety!

Congregant 1: Safety! I call it tyranny!

LSP: Calm down gentlemen, please.

But it's odd, isn't it, that the Lone Star State should be so vehemently opposed to people carrying their firearms about openly. You'd think it'd be the other way around. And, if Arizonans and New Mexicans can walk about pistol on hip style, why not Texans? Similar number of immigrants, legal and otherwise. So, is our open carry ban a matter of big brother nanny state riding down duvet over our freedoms? Or some other thing?

Not that I have a dog in the fight -- priests aren't supposed to run around shooting people, you see.

God bless,

LSP

Speed Freak!

2012-01-28T18:35:00.000-08:00

Lee Speed - note safety

The excitement builds as Monday draws close and with it the collection of a new Lee No.4 Mk.1. That in itself is a fine thing. Lees are good, unlike, say, Nancy Pelosi, or Jefferts Schori. But even better, for me, is the project of recreating the old No.4 into something like a Lee Speed.

Express

Dark wood. Serious checkering. Express sights. A new trigger. Maybe a re-barrel and, you never know, there's always the option of .375 Flanged Nitro Express.

Greatness

SBW (top blog) also recommends a shotgun style safety; he thinks it's more "Sandhurst" and I have to say I'm inclined to agree...

Now some of you might say, "Don't be silly LSP, just go out and buy one." But that's not the point, is it.

Keep pulling the trigger and, as always, have a blessed Sunday.

LSP

Well Done, Jonathan Baker.

2012-01-26T19:22:00.000-08:00

Pusey House

The retreat's over, more's the pity; it was led by an old friend from years ago, Jonathan Baker, the newly consecrated Bishop of Ebbsfleet. He's also chief of Pusey House, Oxford. Baker's meditations were outstanding and were themed on the Feasts of Our Lady.

Assumption - Titian

All very uplifting and, for me at least, a welcome reminder of the role of Mary in showing us the meaning of the Christian life. Baker also quoted Hans Urs Von Balthasar, a great theologian whose writing I'm guilty of neglecting. Here's an excerpt on beauty to help make up the deficit:

"Our situation today shows that beauty demands for itself at least as much courage and decision as do truth and goodness, and she will not allow herself to be separated and banned from her two sisters without taking them along with herself in an act of mysterious vengeance. We can be sure that whoever sneers at her name as if she were the ornament of a bourgeois past--whether he admits it or not--can no longer pray and soon will no longer be able to love."

Blake - Crucifixion

I like that and, of course, the beauty of the Lee.

God bless,

LSP

Clergy Deployment

2012-01-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

Once a year the clergy of the diocese of Fort Worth go on retreat at Montserrat, which is a Jesuit house on Lake Dallas. It's a silent retreat, except for the first evening, which features the civilised custom of a cocktail hour followed by supper.

I sat with the bishops and suggested a new deployment strategy for incoming clergy. It went like this:

LSP: Bishops! I have a new deployment strategy for the diocese.

Bishops: Yes?

LSP: It's very simple.

Bishops: Good.

LSP: Yes.

Bishops: Well, what is it?

LSP: If you can't ride and you don't shoot you can't get in.

Bishops: Ah.

The assorted prelates seemed to like the wisdom of my plan and I look forward to its implementation in the coming years.

Stay on the horse and shoot straight.

Cheers,

LSP

For The Bushwacker

2012-01-20T09:32:00.000-08:00

SBW

Despite the often frivolous content of this blog, with its emphasis on the ridiculous ACoC, fighting apes and come as you may horse riding, I do take some things pretty seriously. Namely, admonitions from the Suburban Bushwacker - who by sheer creative energy went "from fat boy to elk hunter" in one fell swoop of finger to keyboard.

SBW had this to say:

"Very pleased to hear about further riflery. If anyone should by law be

required to be in possession of a sporterised 303 it's you (LSP). chop chop,

get on with the first one."

BSA Lee Speed

Bushwacker was and is right. I have no choice but to get on with the first one. That means getting a Lee that's already been sporterised, because I'm not about to desecrate a rifle in original condition. It means bluing the barreled action, upgrading the wood - Black Walnut with plenty of checkering. The barrel will have to be trimmed and crowned; it'll have to be optics ready and in possession of a new front sight. It must, of course, reflect its owner - a Brit in Texas.

That's the project and thanks to Tom a start's been made, a No. 4 Mk. 1 sporter at a very reasonable price. I'm looking forward to collecting that in a week or so and getting right down to it.

Thanks, SBW, for the mandate and serious attention to detail.

Good shooting,

LSP

Steenson Loves Schori.

2012-01-19T11:27:00.000-08:00

Steenson

The United States now has an Ordinariate in which Anglicans can convert to the Roman Catholic church while keeping elements of their heritage. The newly minted leader of the U.S. Ordinariate is Geoffery Steenson, former TEC (The Episcopal Church) Bishop of the Rio Grande.

In a recent article in The Living Church, Steenson had this to say about his former boss, litigious abortion advocate, Presiding Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori.

“One of the people I’m still very grateful for is Katharine Jefferts Schori. She was absolutely wonderful... I could not have asked for better pastoral care from my presiding bishop.”

Absolutely Wonderful!

Resisting the urge to say "let's all break out the cuddly toys and go hug a tree while trying not throw up," I congratulate Fr. Steenson on his new appointment.

Someone's Parker Hale awesomness

All you need is love and a custom Lee Enfield.

I love Lees.

LSP

Oh Canada!

2012-01-18T19:28:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong, I love Texas. But sometimes I get the urge to travel into the icy vastness of Canada, which is what I did on the Feast of the Holy Innocents.

Stephen Ave - Alright By Me

I like Calgary; you can walk about downtown, go to restaurants, shops and relax under the bison head at the Hyatt bar. I always think it's a cross between England and the U.S., except of course that it's an oil and gas boomtown.

Shops

But whatever, you can also visit Pro Line Shooters in Inglewood. It's a small gun shop on 9th Ave in Inglewood, not too far from the center of town and distinguished for its barbershop. This means that you can get your hair cut and then buy a gun. Back in the day the barber was a communist called Doug and we got on well, despite divergent politics. He was a great character but died a year or so ago, may he rest in peace. They sell Sigs there, which the owner told me he didn't much like. We swapped stories of Browning Hi Powers and the force of large caliber battle rifles. He was very against the 5.56 and thought it was introduced to suit the small stature of our one time South Vietnamese friends. That was new to me.

What's that huge new NSDAP structure in the background?

Speaking of Inglewood, St. John's church, which left the bizarrely tiny ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) to join the Roman Catholic Church, has been allowed to keep its buildings.

If I was a betting man, which I'm not, I wouldn't have wagered my fighting monkey on the odds of that. Well done ACoC for doing the right thing. Then, all too soon, it was back to Texas and the mission field.

Fighting Monkey

Good city, Calgary. Visit if you can and say a prayer for St. John's, Inglewood. Well done them for keeping their buildings and avoiding a lawsuit.

Cheers,

LSP

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T23:29:00.000-08:00

I only heard the despicable "happy holidays" once this year. Result, as was the stunningly powerful gift of a Spyderco folder from my philosophic friend, GWB.

Shoot straight, stay on the horse and may God bless you all,

LSP

North Park Mall

2011-12-23T16:24:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know Dallas might say that North Park Mall is "hell with the lid off" two days before Christmas. A right shopping frenzy. Not dissimilar, come to think of it, to downtown Norwich on a Saturday.

Norwich

Except for the money and the shops.

North Park before the rush

Try not to stumble on those Blahniks, kids.

Note -- next year, provided there is one, get the presents before the 23rd of December.

Just sayin',

LSP

Space Alien Flogs Dead Horse!

2011-12-22T18:53:00.000-08:00

Space Alien

Celebrity Episcopalien, Rev. Susan Russell, well known gender politician, priestess and off-world activist, has hitched her Advent star to the dying hippy movement, "Occupy Wall Street."

Insatiable

In a sermon on the final Sunday before Christmas, Russell stated, “[Occupy] is the kind of movement that we venerate in history, yet many who live comfortably fear it in the present. Occupy is no mere ‘protest.’ The brilliance of the movement is its refusal to be reduced to specific policy demands. Occupy remains an insatiable movement of liberating creativity, an irreducible process for generating justice."

Hippy

Insatiable... liberating creativity?

You be the judge.

LSP

House Of Gold

2011-12-21T21:08:00.000-08:00

As we prepare for Christmas and try to forget the impending fiscal maelstrom and the likelihood of a Deathstar Blockbuster Bonanza strike against Iran, our minds are drawn to the birth of Christ. It's easy, perhaps, for Christians who focus on the transcendent glory of the Word made Flesh to forget the tenderness and intimacy of the event; to say nothing of the Cross and Passion which the Incarnation unfolds into. Austin Farrer holds all aspects together. In The Crown of the Year he writes:

“WHEN Mary laid Jesus Christ upon her knees, when she searched him with her eyes, when she fed him at the breast, she did not study to love him because she ought, she loved him because he was dear: he was her Son. His conception had been supernatural, perplexing, affrighting; it had called for faith in the incomprehensible, and obedience beyond the limit of human power. His nativity was human and sweet, and the love with which she embraced it was a natural growth, inseparable from the thing she loved. She was blessed above all creatures, because she loved her Maker inevitably and by simple nature; even though it needed the sword - wounds of the Passion to teach her fully that it was her Maker whom she loved. The Son of Mary is the Son of all human kind; we embrace him with the love of our kind, that we may be led up with Mary to a love beyond kind, a selfless love for the supreme Goodness, when we too shall have climbed the ladder of the cross.”

I love that.

LSP

An Army Of One

2011-12-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

Spurred on by SBW's urging to "shoot the Lee" I filled the truck with guns and headed off to a parishioner's range. It was beautiful, just me, the guns and miles of misty countryside. I set up a silhouette and my ancient adversary, a Marlboro Light box.

After a brisk .22 warm up I moved on to the more serious business of SMLE firepower and was surprised to shoot my best groups with that rifle. Shot less well with an AR, oddly. Probably due to a lack of concentration. Neat little rifle though.

Finished off with a blast of the .45. Ferocious fun to see the flaming flash of the shot. Then the heavens opened and I began to wish, and not for the first time, for something in the 4x4 line. Hopefully that will arrive before the impending 2012 apocalypse.

But the Eschaton and lack of four wheel drive aside, I love shooting. Good for mind, body and soul. What did they used to say about America being a "nation of riflemen"? I like that, even if it's no longer true.

Keep pulling the trigger,

LSP

Oh dear... Piers.

2011-12-21T11:22:00.000-08:00

Described by some as a "Dark Lord" and "more hated than Skeletor", Piers Morgan isn't just facing dismal ratings at CNN, he's on the hot spot for his role in the the U.K.'s phone hacking scandal.

You can read all about this sordid tale of criminality, vice and gutter journalism over at Guido and, you never know, maybe Piers will have to leave America...

Please send him back for Christmas.

The nation holds its breath.

Cheers,

LSP

Hitchens Is Dead

2011-12-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows that Christopher Hitchens has died. He was an outstanding writer, drinker, smoker and contributing editor to Vanity Fair. VF gushed this morning:

"Christopher Hitchens—the incomparable critic, masterful rhetorician, fiery wit, and fearless bon vivant—died today at the age of 62. Hitchens was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in the spring of 2010, just after the publication of his memoir, Hitch-22, and began chemotherapy soon after. His matchless prose has appeared in Vanity Fair since 1992, when he was named contributing editor."

Hitchens, unlike his brother, didn't believe in God. Now he will find out.

I'll say a prayer for his soul.

Dies irae, but remember Farrer's words, Advent is a time when "judgement runs out into mercy."

LSP

Tikka?

2011-12-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

Round about the end of the year, with the thought of presents looming, my mind turns to rifles. One rifle in particular, the Tikka T3. It gets great reviews, it's comparatively cheap, everyone says, "LSP! Get a Tikka!." Then, just as I'm about to leap into the world of Tikka, up comes Churck Hawks' damning review. Here's a bit of it to refresh the memory:

"To add insult to injury, the Tikka T3 is a cheap rifle to produce, but not an inexpensive one to purchase. (Ditto the I-Bolt!) These things cost as much or more than some higher quality, better designed, and better turned-out hunting rifles. The T3's success is a tribute to the ignorance of the modern American sportsman--and the connivance of the sporting press upon which they rely for information."

Maybe I'd be better off browsing the 2nd hand racks...

Good shooting,

LSP

The Smallest Church You Never Saw In Your Life

2011-12-10T09:50:00.001-08:00

In an interview with the Washington Post, The Episcopal Church's newly promoted leader, Dr. Budde (pronounced Budd-ee) had this to say:

“We’re like a boutique. We’re the most inclusive church in the world that’s the tiniest church in Christendom. . . . I’m not interested in being the leader of a boutique church.”

If the shoe fits... Budde.

LSP

A Handful Of Tack

2011-12-08T19:36:00.001-08:00

Picked up a handful of tack and headed off for an episode of ride and shoot, only to discover that JB has Pigeon Fever, which is a nasty disease resulting in an abscess. Curable, fortunately. I rode Bebop instead and we had a good old gallop along the edge of a couple of large fields.

I loved that; Bebop can fairly fly along and we had plenty of space for it. Picked up a dog too and that was fine until he decided it'd be a neat trick to bite the horse's back legs while we were running. Bebop wasn't too keen on that game and made several good efforts to kick the dog out of existence -- stay in the saddle LSP! -- but no one, horse, hound or rider came to harm.

I like a gallop, clears the head.

In other news, Jefferts Schori, boy bishop leaderene of The Episcopal Church, has written a book. She thinks that Our Lord was like a Hell's Angel who took toys to poor people, when not "messing about in boats" or being a "party animal." Well, nothing like a bit of christology to get the mind working...

Stay in the saddle,

LSP

Hugging The Emu

2011-12-06T16:47:00.001-08:00

After Mass (Advent II, '28 BCP Lectionary), I visited Miguel and Teresa to bless their house. They have many children and one came flying up to the gate of their 4 acre spread, shouting out "Father, Father! Come in!" Excited little chap. So I drove through and couldn't help but notice an...

Emu. There it was, stalking along, like some prehistoric beast. Miguel came out to meet me and I asked him about the bird, our conversation went like this:

"I say, Miguel, is that your Emu?"

"Yes Father."

"Remarkable!"

"You can hug him!"

"Well, that's quite a thing."

I resisted the temptation to "hug the Emu" as I didn't want to chase the bird down; foolish. Next time I will test the creature's affection.

I'm proud of Miguel and Teresa. He's building their house as they live in it and she's helping him; I'd say that wasn't easy. Very faithful people and very devout. Their daughters tell me of an evil elf who steals the souls of babies.

Holy water will drive that away.

LSP

Range Day

2011-12-06T16:04:00.001-08:00

Tired of my slothful ways and full of Advent penitence, I loaded some guns into the truck, restocked on Winchester "Whitebox", thank you Walmart, and drove off to a parishioner's 150 yard range. I like it there in the middle of the countryside around Brandon and nicely secluded. Just you and the guns.

Tested out the newly refurbished .22 Higgins (tube magazine, bolt, iron sights) from 50 and 100 yards. It's feeding problems had been solved by my Waco 'smith friend and, considering a bit of rustiness on my part, shot well. A "tack driver"? In the right hands, yes, and I was pleased to see the center of the target pretty much destroyed.

range road

Then it was time for some AR fun. Proper "little heater" that carbine; after a few magazines of target practice I practiced my walk/run and shoot skills, only to discover that I didn't really have many... childish, but fun. I'm tempted to get optics for that rifle, but haven't decided on the most useful. I like the Trijicon Accupoint, or the ACOG, but dislike the price tag. Still, maybe worth saving for.

.45 followed 5.56 amusement. Total enjoyment shooting against spinners from 20-25 yards. Spent most of my effort on the dinner plate; satisfying to hear the pistol explode and see the plate swing off. Had decent success against the next size down, which surprised me because I was badly out of practice. A testament to muscle memory.

It was interesting to retrieve the rounds. After hitting the spinner they flattened off to the size of a nickel and shot off about 10 feet to my right of the target. Doubtless a moral in that if you care to draw it.

Finished off with weapons cleaning in the range's small shooting house and headed back as the sun was setting.

For me, at that moment, all was right with the world.

God bless,

LSP

Deep Sea Lee

2011-11-29T07:45:00.001-08:00

Visited a gunsmith yesterday in Waco to pick up my venerable .22 JC Higgins. The 'smith had replaced several springs, a pin and built up the lifter, all for the remarkably sane price of $35.

So we fell to talking about Lee Enfields.

Putin - get rid of that old Mosin Nagant.

My friend thought they were OK, but only as "boat guns". Boat guns? Yes. For killing sharks.

Now we know.

Result.

LSP

Black Friday

2011-11-25T10:11:00.001-08:00

Add caption

Today is Black Friday. It started with Morning Prayer, followed by Mass. And now? A visit to the gun shop.

That's the ticket.

LSP

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:36:00.001-08:00

About to pound the mahogany in Dallas and, despite my sympathy for The Cause, I found Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation (1863) pretty moving. So here it is:

"The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union."

Powerful words.

Have a blessed and happy Thanksgiving,

LSP

Monsignor Stetson

2011-11-22T06:58:00.001-08:00

Keen eyed observers of the current state of Anglican-Roman Catholic relations in the U.S. might think that this post is all about the Pastoral Provision. But no, it's just about my new hat, which I bought from Cavenders. It's a Larry Mahan, the horsehair band and "stampede string" are extras.

Some kind of sad pose? Not really, I usually wear a ball cap to ride in and that's fine but doesn't give a lot of protection from the blistering sun. The straw hat, with its wide brim, solves that dilemma. I've promised one to the Fact Compiler.

Stetson

The Pastoral Provision solved the dilemma of married Anglican priests who wanted to become Roman Catholic Priests. Now that the Ordinariates are being set up I suppose the PP looks set for redundancy, but maybe not. Time will tell.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Saddle Horn

2011-11-21T07:07:00.001-08:00

The MC (Master of Ceremonies) at one of the Missions is a former bronc star. He won the world championship back in the '80s as pictured above.

He thinks me an "unlikely rider" and is concerned for my safety. The conversation after yesterday's Mass went something like this:

LSP: Off for a ride.

MC: Well you be careful.

LSP: Not to worry, if the going gets brisk I'll just hold on to the pommel thingy.

MC: Saddle Horn.

LSP: Ah yes! "Saddle Horn."

With that in mind, I had the Sunday afternoon fun of riding a well trained Arabian out by Waco with a group of parishioners. Fairly flew along, fast and flat over the fields, Western style. Didn't need the curious horn thing.

I want this saddle...

I love riding.

Stay in the saddle and, if you must, hold onto it - far better than bouncing off the ground, I always think.

Cheers,

LSP

Warrior On The Edge Of Skeet

2011-11-19T09:33:00.001-08:00

I was just about to leave the house when I noticed a shotgun standing nonchalantly by a box of unopened clays. "Put the gun in the truck," I thought to myself.

don't shoot the fridge LSP, for goodness sake.

It's just a yobbish Mossberg Ulti Mag which I bought at a "Guitar & Gun Show" for $200. Why do those two things seem to go together? Whatever, the gun's been worth every penny; shot plenty of dove with it and the odd rabbit target of opportunity. It's a bit dinged up but that doesn't matter. Some people say it's no good with 3.5" shells but I wouldn't know, I just use 3" and the gun works fine.

So after a refreshing canter/hand gallop I unleashed the power of Mossberg against the hapless clay adversary.

I like shooting skeet. It's satisfying to watch them blow up.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Mariann Budde

2011-11-18T10:46:00.001-08:00

This is the new leader of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington DC (EDOW), Mariann Budde. Her husband read a poem at the worship service which promoted her. Here's a bit, from Coleman's Bed by David Whyte:

Ghost then, to where others

in this place have come before,

under the hazel, by the ruined chapel,

below the cave where Coleman slept,

become the source that makes

the river flow, and then the sea

beyond.

What does it mean? That The Episcopal Church is a ruin inhabited by ghosts who possess dozing cave dwelling congregants, before drowning them in the sea?

The Church of England has voted overwhelmingly in favour of wimmin bishops.

Good luck with that.

LSP

Wisdom of Solomon

2011-11-17T05:44:00.001-08:00

Chickens have been making a takeover bid for my back yard, which is fine by me. I like to watch them scratch about, during the odd interlude in the fast paced, high pressure clerical lifestyle.

I was doing just that when DWN (Dog War Neighbor) knocked on the fence and asked if he could have a talk. DWN, who is a disabled vet and writes patriotic letters for me to give to George Bush - he's convinced I know him - wanted some advice.

He used to have a small pick up truck in his drive, which a young NDW (ne'er do well) wanted to buy. DWN said "$1000", NDW offered $800. DWN accepted and NDW paid $700, on the spot, with a 'verbal' to pay the balance in two weeks.

DWN then took a working battery from his van and put it in the pick up to show NDW that the vehicle worked. NDW promptly got in the truck and drove off, with the battery, leaving DWN down one battery and owed $100.

No title had changed hands and the pick up was still insured in DWN's name, which brings us to the present. A month after the 'deal', NDW still hadn't paid the balance and DWN was worried, on two scores.

Most importantly, for him, was the principle of the thing. If NDW was allowed to get away with casually walking off with other people's $100 he'd never learn responsibility in life. Secondly, the truck was still insured in DWN's name and he didn't want to be liable when NDW crashed the vehicle.

DWN was perplexed. He had prayed about it pretty hard and been to the police, who told him that repossessing the truck over a paltry $100 was kind of mean; DWN thought so too, but principle mattered. So he had taken the key to the truck (it was in the ignition) and the battery and left the vehicle outside NDW's house.

"Now pastor," said DWN, "what should I do?"

In the spirit of Solomon, I gave him two choices. He could keep the key with the proviso that NDW could have it back when he paid the outstanding money, at which point he'd get the truck and the title. Or, far better choice, DWN could give NDW his money back and repossess the truck.

The problem with 'option 1' is that lack of a key isn't going to stop NDW from driving the truck...

There's a moral in this, somewhere.

It's all going on in the countryside, I tell you.

LSP

New Place To Ride Ordinariate

2011-11-15T09:38:00.001-08:00

There's evidently this rural myth doing the rounds of Malone about some man who walked his horse 20 miles just so he could find a new place to ride...

With that in mind, and with the caveat that the myth won't be repeated, I'm happy with the place. A good mixture of dirt road and large fields to move around in; I'd say the variation is good for the horse's mind. Doesn't do the rider any harm either.

the space is deep

In other news, Cardinal Wuerl looks set to make an important announcement about the Ordinariate in CONUS. This is Benedict XVI's arrangement for Anglican clergy and people to convert to Rome while keeping elements of their liturgical and pastoral tradition. It also allows the former Anglicans a degree of permanence and self-governance, which was perhaps lacking under the Pastoral Provision.

where's that dik-mik?

Several friends have suggested that I join the Ordinariate and I'm very sympathetic. But I'm not about to abandon Bishop Iker and my Missions while we're being sued for all we're worth by the Pelosionite followers of Inclusivechurch. I think that would be disloyal.

Perhaps as a nod in the right direction I should rename the horse -- "Ordinariate" has a certain ring for a Thoroughbred.

Stay in the saddle,

LSP

Ariat? Wolverine? Boot Review.

2011-11-14T16:19:00.001-08:00

Wolverines

A couple of years ago I swapped out a miserable pair of Bates combat boots for a pair of Wolverine Wellingtons. The combat boots were hard to ride in, the sole delaminated and they trapped water; useless if you're planning on crossing soggy fields, creeks, or anywhere that involved them getting wet.

Ariat

The Wolverines did well but they didn't have a lot of support, which I wanted for riding, so I invested in a pair of Ariat "Brown Bomber Heritage" crepe soled boots. Great support, thanks to their special, patented, sounds like a gimmick but maybe isn't, insole, and I thought they looked good too.

The plan was simple. Use the Wolverines for getting out in the field after rabbits, dove and low level hunting. Use the Ariats for riding.

Great plan; how did it work out? Two years into the experiment I have the result and I've got to admit I'm surprised. The Wolverines win. Why?

Cheaper, waterproof, don't spread

Because they haven't spread, they're far more waterproof and they're cheaper.

After a year, I found that the Ariats were becoming too wide to fit into English style stirrups. They had mystically grown by at least a centimeter. With Western stirrups, which are generally wider, it wasn't a problem, but with English? A disaster. If your boot gets caught in the stirrup and you have to get off the horse... well, who likes being dragged behind a charging animal.

Mad horse

Also, even in Texas, you're going to come across water when riding. Perhaps when you hose the animal down in the searing heat of the summer, or maybe when you get off at the stock tank for a bit of target practice and plinking. Whatever, the boots will get wet. The Ariats failed. They leaked and started to squelch with even a little exposure to the rare and valuable Texas water. Now, I really dislike a squelching boot and I don't like knowing that my feet can't get out of the stirrups if necessary, so it was back to the Wolverines.

After all this time, two years, I've found that they actually offer more support than the Ariats because they haven't spread. They're more waterproof and don't trap water, perhaps because they're unlined and, this is important for people on a budget, they're cheap.

Spur

At a little more than $70 I have a boot that works on horseback and is perfectly adequate for beating about the countryside. A great all round, inexpensive, durable boot. The Ariats are fine as far as they go; they look good, they're tough, the strange widening doesn't matter for Western style riding -- and I'll continue to use them for that, but in the end, the Wolverines are simply better bang for your buck.

God knows we all need more of that.

Sorry Ariat.

LSP

Remembrance Day

2011-11-12T09:42:00.001-08:00

May their souls rest in peace.

And may we not forget.

LSP

Mark Of The Beast II

2011-11-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

Following alarmist end-times reporting on the turbulent state of the market and with the caveat that "numerology is a mrk (sic) of the truly loopy!" I feel it's only right to point out that the Bank of Italy believes it can bear an 8% yield. Many would argue that this absurd and superstitious obsession with so-called "mystical numbers" is little short of insane.

But an Ontario reader has this to say:

"Worth remembering though – it wasn’t long ago that no Government could borrow for as LITTLE as 8%. The modern era of low interest rates is quite a recent phenomenon, and it’s one of the things that made the huge superboom from 1992-2008 possible. No-one would have borrowed money for sub-primes at historic interest rates. Ironically low IRs followed from low inflation... and everyone borrowed, Texas consumers to Italian politicians alike..."

Interesting. Perhaps our worship of Mammon has destroyed the West's collective memory? Still, as the annoying phrase runs, that was then, this is now...

God bless,

LSP

Mark Of The Beast

2011-11-07T07:25:00.000-08:00

According to Reuters, the Elephant Bar and everywhere else, the yield, or interest rate, on Italian bonds hit a 14 year high this morning, surging to an apocalyptic 6.66%.

Italian bonds are now well within the 6 percentile "danger zone", reflecting an increasing lack of confidence in Italian debt. If this trend continues Italy will default, sparking a fiscal Armageddon not seen since the days of Ancient Rome.

Ancient Rome

Noted Anglican Divine and genius exegete, Austin Farrer, comments on the mystical sixfold numeral; bear in mind that Solomon is both a type of Christ and of Antichrist also.

"From the queen's (Sheba) departure onwards the King (Solomon) breaks the law of kingship clause by clause."

After going against the divine interdict concerning multiplication of horses (LSP beware) and wives to himself, Solomon proceeds to contravene the final kingly rule given by God, "Neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold." But what does Solomon do?

"The weight of gold that came to King Solomon in one year was six hundred and sixty-six talents of gold." (1 Kings x, 14)

Farrer has this to say, "The damnable number appears in the very next verse after the withdrawal of the Queen of Sheba. The root of all evil begins the King's downfall. St. John's use of Solomon's history as a source-book of numbers makes it virtually certain that he found the number of the Beast here... Why is it so deep and so blasphemous a mystery?"

To find out, you'll have to read chapter nine of "Rebirth of Images."

Bond Traders, Frankfort Cabal, you have been warned.

LSP

All Saints, All Souls

2011-11-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

The Church celebrated the Feasts of All Saints and All Souls this week; some Christians find this strange and wrong. They think that asking the intercession of the saints is unnecessary at best and idolatrous at worst. The same thing applies, for them, to prayers for the departed.

They believe that the dead, saintly or otherwise, are sleeping "under the heavenly altar" and even if they weren't their prayers are redundant because Christ is the "only mediator" between man and God.

But what about the two great Jewish Saints, Moses and Elijah, who talked with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration? They weren't sleep-talking now, were they. Neither are any of the holy men and women who have left this life for the next, and so we ask for their prayers just as we would ask the same from a holy person here on earth. This doesn't detract from Our Lord's mediation but reinforces it.

SMOM

Likewise for the departed, we pray for them as we would for anyone else. Idolatry? Hardly and don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of comsymp lefty, but perhaps we need to look elsewhere for the Golden Calf of our troubled age - money, perhaps.

Jean Vianney

Jean Vianney, the Cure D'Ars, is the Patron Saint of parish priests. He abhorred dancing, which was a problem in rural France, and lead a life of remarkable austerity, eating little more than a potato a day. Vianney was often afflicted by Satan, who would drag his bed across the room while shouting "old potato eater!" Hundreds of thousands of people traveled to Ars to make their confession to him. A remarkable man who worked out his salvation in the fear and trembling proscribed by St. Paul.

Saints intercede for us. Faithful souls, rest in peace.

LSP

Halloween

2011-10-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

Contrary to popular opinion, tonight isn't Satan's birthday, it's the Eve of All Saints, or "Hallows". I pray they intercede for us all.

Reports that The Episcopal Church is run by a gang of devil clowns are entirely without substance.

Cheers,

LSP

SS Simon & Jude

2011-10-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

wake up and open the church, LSP

It's the Feast of Saints Simon and Jude today and I celebrated Mass at a church in Dallas at the old school time of 6.45 a.m. I do this every Friday so the resident priest can have a "day off." It's an impressive set up and makes for a good break from the country - the place always reminds me of the Army, for some reason.

But regardless, the books assure us that we don't know very much about Simon and Jude, except that they were Apostles who found martyrdom in Persia. There's plenty of that going on right about now.

Yusuf Nadarkhani

You might say a prayer for the Iranian Christians, especially those who convert from The Religion of Peace.

God bless,

LSP

Here's That Song In Full

2011-10-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

more weaving

Some of you may have enjoyed the brief excerpt from "Weave us Together" by singer songwriter Rosemary Crow. It's a favorite at The Episcopal Church's (TEC) Executive Council and other gatherings of Pod People. Here it is in full.

Weave, weave, weave us to-geth-er,
Weave us to-geth-er in u-ni-ty and love,
Weave, weave, weave us to-geth-er,
Weave us to-geth-er, to-geth-er in love.

pod person

We are man-y tex-tures, we are man-y col-ors,
Each one dif-f’rent from the oth-ers.
But we are en-twined with one a-noth-er
In one great tap-es-try….

Weave, weave, weave us to-geth-er,
Weave us to-geth-er in u-ni-ty and love,
Weave, weave, weave us to-geth-er,
Weave us to-geth-er, to-geth-er in love.

We are dif-f’rent in-stru-ments, play-ing our own mel-o-dies,
Each one tun-ing to a dif-f’rent key.
But we are all play-ing in har-mon-y
In one great sym-pho-ny….

Weave, weave, weave us to-geth-er,
Weave us to-geth-er in u-ni-ty and love,
Weave, weave, weave us to-geth-er,
Weave us to-geth-er, to-geth-er in love.
A mo-ment a-go, still we did not know
Our u-ni-ty, on-ly di-ver-si-ty.
Now the Christ in me greets the Christ in thee

In one great fam-i-ly….

What can I say? Bask in the genius. In the meanwhile, TEC continues its headlong slide into oblivion.

Ubuntu,

LSP

Invasion Of The Pod People

2011-10-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

The Episcopal Church's (TEC) Executive Council released a statement this afternoon, which included the following:

"We are living into a new season of weaving our threads of interdependence together in the spirit of ubuntu – you in me and I in you, the theme of our last General Convention."

weavers

TEC's communique was punctuated by lyrics from the "Weave Song" by Rosemary Crow, previously famous for her song "You Can Be a Heretic, Too." Weave goes like this:

Weave, weave, weave . . .
Weave us together in unity and love.

We are many textures, we are many colors,
. . . we are entwined in one another in one great tapestry

We are different instruments playing our own melodies. . .
But we are all playing in harmony in one great symphony.

Weave, weave, weave...

What does it mean?

ascend the pod

I'd say that was obvious. The Pod People have landed.

According to latest statistics TEC lost around 2000 members a month from 2009 - 2010. Perhaps the off-world weaving wisdom of the Pod will reverse this interesting trend.

God bless,

LSP

The Cotton's Gone

2011-10-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

William

I walked the few minutes into town this morning to go to the Post Office and met William; he's 71 and does a bit of "scrapping" though he used to work on the cotton back when that was the industry of the county. He told me how the sound of the cotton press filled the air, but that was some time ago.

County Seat

Now the cotton's gone and the town's declined from a population of 20,000 to less than 8,000. That trend looks set to continue as there aren't any jobs; a concerted attempt to turn the place into an antiques and gift shop emporium failed miserably. Fine by me.

Once a bank, now a failed gift shop

At the turn of the last century things were different, with the Square being notorious for cockfighting, drunkenness and lewd behavior of all kinds.

Bad behavior gone

I understand that things were cleaned up by the '30s. Now there doesn't seem to be much behavior of any kind, which is a shame. I'd like to see a pub, butcher, tack shop, gun shop, and a place to drink coffee and buy books.

Why cut down the trees?

Surely that's not asking for too much? As it is, Hillsboro's starting to get that deserted "turning into a ghost town" feel. Surely it doesn't have to be that way.

On a different theme, there was big commotion in my neighbor's chicken coop. I thought it was a cat until a great hawk glided up and over the fence. Wish I'd taken a picture.

It seems to me as though the place is reverting to nature and maybe that's no bad thing. Neither should it be an obstacle to getting a pub...

Cheers,

LSP

Amazonian Guard - Update

2011-10-22T20:51:00.000-07:00

Despite being friends with just about everyone, The Colonel is now dead, after being pulled out of a sewer and shot.

Here's some of The Colonel's friends.

But the question is, what happened to his elite female fighting force, the famous Amazonian Guard?

Some speculated that they would die to the last woman, like fanatical "last-ditch Nazis" and that special Navy SEAL commandos would be tasked to take them out. That wasn't necessary.

It seems the Amazons mostly melted away, though some fought and others were taken prisoner. According to the Daily Mirror several of them were forced to do the unspeakable with The Colonel, his sons and various henchmen.

They're gone now, and so is their Leader.

I guess that's progress.

LSP

New Pastures

2011-10-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

God bless Texas

After our 18 mile Trek - don't take it lightly - JB's now fairly well at home in her new pasture. We rode out today, Western style. I like that because it makes for a safer seat on an unpredictable horse. For example, JB could be going along at a steady trot, then she picks up a fast canter or a hand gallop. Fine, you think, all going well. But then she stops dead in her tracks and surges forward in a new direction, all of her own making. Ducking out, or something like that. If you're riding English the danger is that you'll go "over the handle bars" when the horse stops. You're going forward, she's not. With a Western saddle your forward momentum is stopped by the pommel. Shouldn't be necessary, I know, but better safe than sorry.

I'll go as fast as you like

With that in mind, we had a good ride, after some bronc, kick an offending dog out of the way adventure. In other news, everyone knows that The Colonel is now dead, shot on the hood (?) of a pickup.

Amazonian Guard - Excelsior.

But, but, wasn't he our friend?

Stay on the horse.

LSP

Well that didn't take long...

2011-10-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

where's the laptop?

Thieves and hustlers are having a field day at New York's Zuccotti Park, ripping-off expensive Mac computers, donations and even pillaging the makeshift freak encampment for beds and umbrellas while unsuspecting hippies doze.

“I had my Mac stolen -- that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen. I had umbrellas stolen, a fold-up bed I brought because my back is bad -- they took that, too! The worst thing is there’s people sleeping in the kitchen when they come, and they don’t even know about it! There are some really smart and sneaky thieves here," said Nan Terrie to the New York Post.

dozing hippies

That's strange. Thieves and hippies? Together? Surely not.

And what's an anti-corporate greed protester doing with a five and a half thousand dollar computer anyway. Maybe Macs are somehow "against the man." Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of apologist for Mammon but if you go down to the park tonight...

Keep your valuables locked up.

LSP

Front Office Rodeo

2011-10-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Not that you'd know it from browsing through this "site" but Lonestarparsonism does involve some work. There's the pastoralia that any clergyman should be about and the daily affair of running two missions. I say Morning Prayer ('28 BCP) then set up on the front porch with laptop, phone, coffee and ~~gun~~. Then streams of people come by; I find that far more gets done that way than by skulking off, out of sight, at a desk. A lot of priests seem to do that and I'm not sure why. Perhaps they're scared of the people which is unfortunate, given the nature of the calling.

But it's not all about taking care of business on the front porch office. Sometimes it's about going to Waco for rodeo events.

Catch

These pictures didn't come out too well but maybe they give an idea of the speed and intensity of the thing. I enjoy the broncs and barrel racing - remarkable to watch the women run around the barrels then fly for the finish.

Bronc

Then there's bull riding. A whole different level of dangerous and mad; there's that moment when the rider's on the ground and the bull's surging like fury. Where are the hooves going to land? Get away! Jaw dropping.

Champion Team Ropers

Big thanks to Bud for the box tickets. Makes me want to ride Western.

God bless,

LSP

New Hippies, Same Old story

2011-10-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Harmless?

It begins simply, almost harmlessly. First they find a "cause" to "stick it to the man" with love. Perhaps they draw stuff.

Fingerpainting

But not for long.

Kick that tarp!

Soon they find a park to live in, which they trash.

It's Wall Street's fault

After a while they take their clothes off. Then it turns into this.

Undead

And this.

Apocalypse

Loyal Americans, you have been warned.

LSP

I Like Malone Texas

2011-10-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

No Rent?

Now that I have a horse out by Malone I thought you might enjoy some pictures. The place was founded by Germans and is named after William Malone, President of the International Great Northern Railroad at the turn of the last century. The town owed its existence to the intersection of the of the IGN and the BVR (Brazos Valley Railroad) in 1903 and did well, in a small way. Success seems short-lived, as the town declined from the '30s on. 279 people live there, according to the 2000 census. Read about it here.

Post Office & the Frog

I like Malone, it has a Post Office and many Saloons.

Pair O'Dice

But why the saloons? I counted the Whiskey River, Pair O'Dice, and The Frog. All of them seemed like pretty useful places but how did they get there? Maybe the Germans stopped the place going dry and held the Temperance beast in check.

Walling Owned

Why is it that Christians, of all people, would try and ban drink? Especially "Bible Christians" -- what about the Last Supper, or that awkward Miracle in Cana bit? They say, of course, that our Lord turned the water into non-alcoholic grape juice.

Mesquite & Hickory Street

Out of loyalty to the Gospel I must find a designated driver and check out Pair O'Dice, the Whiskey and the Frog.

Cheers,

LSP

Move the Horse

2011-10-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

I hate trailers

My "time to move the horse" deadline fell on Monday, so we made several more attempts to load JB on the trailer, but it was no use. It was going to be a cold day in hell before she climbed aboard. That left several options; tranq the horse, ride her to her new home, or lead the beast with the help of a handy F 150. The tranquilizer route didn't seem wise and we didn't have any anyway. Riding seemed attractive, but JB wasn't used to being ridden on roads and who wants to risk being thrown under a truck hurtling down 171 as your horse bolts away to perdition. I reckoned there was an 85% chance that everything would be OK but think, that still leaves a solid 15% of not OK, with each percentile being a potential death point. That left leading her, which we did.

Maw of Hell

I walked her for the first 7 or 8 miles down dirt roads and some fairly deserted blacktop. After a bit of exhausting pulling, rearing, and acting up, she went docile. Thank goodness, probably wouldn't have made it otherwise. We picked up a German Shepherd who seemed to enjoy herding the horse. Most definitely a help.

Herding

The next 8 mile stretch, from Bynum to Malone, was along busy 171. JB didn't seem remotely spooked by the roaring trucks, which surprised me, and there it was, pickup, LSP, horse, dog, in procession down 171, in the blazing sun. At around the 13 mile point we stopped and I decided to climb onto the tailgate and lead from the truck. JB was fine with that once she got used to the idea, and trotted along at a respectable 5 or 6 mph.

None of this would have happened if you'd got on the trailer

After a pitstop at Malone's filling station, "What y'all doin'? Puttin' gas in th'horse?" "No, no, she's got plenty of that already." Har! Har! be safe." "God bless." we pushed through the last 5 miles or so to our destination. I was tired, the horse was tired, the dog was tired and the pickup moved along sedately, though I wasn't on it as JB had decided she wouldn't move unless I walked along with her.

It was just getting dark as we arrived at the pasture, all safe and accounted for, though my sense of humour was beginning to dim.

Moral of the story? Train your horse to load or face The Trek. It may be "character building" but...

Cheers,

LSP

Bearded Head

2011-10-07T17:11:00.000-07:00

It's not easy, living in the frozen North of our continent, so the head of LSP Research Canada has decided to grow a beard. It has a touch of gray, which I think is fine, and he assures me that it's going to grow till after Christmas, because of the extreme cold that you face while working on the Canadian railways.

He also has bikes, which I like but won't get. Why? Because I have enough on my hands dealing with a trailer-shy horse and have to save the stipend to get a 4x4 pickup.

Back in the olden days my motorcyclist friends thought I should get a "Beeza", though I never did. I like old Brit bikes.

In other news, Hippies are trying to take over Wall Street. They're living in a park, evidently, and can't be evicted because it's private, which strikes me as odd.

According to CBS New York, "sanitary conditions" in the hippy's park "have reached unacceptable levels."

Well go figure.

Cheers,

LSP

Consecrate! Consecrate!

2011-10-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

humane

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, has suggested that consecrating women as bishops in the Church of England will "humanise" the priesthood, put a stop to "creeping bureaucratisation" and "box ticking."

seriously?

Williams, who is known for his trademark "full set" beard, also questioned whether an all male episcopate was able to read the the Bible properly. Is it "possible for bishops to read the bible adequately if they're an all male group" wondered the hirsute prelate at a private meeting.

credible

Outspoken "wimmin priest" spokesperson, Hilary Cotton, went one step further than the bearded Anglican Supremo stating, "It will be a disaster for the credibility of the Church if this legislation (to consecrate women bishops) does not go through."

what a monkey - thanks Samizdat

Credibility? Women bishops are sure to solve that knotty little dilemma. But in the meanwhile, I'll wager my fighting monkey against any two of your priestesses that even more Anglicans will head to Rome.

The challenge is on.

LSP

Your Money or your Life!

2011-10-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Anyone following the slow-moving(ish) train-wreck that is the Sovereign Debt crisis, will have noticed that France and Belgium have pledged to prop up Dexia, one of several rotten franchises in the heart of Europe. Presumably taxpayers will come to the rescue, but in the meanwhile, Dexia dropped a miserable 22 points on the Brussel's 'change. You can read about it in the SF Chronicle, if you like.

Belloc wrote somewhere that the Roman Empire was plagued with periodic financial crises brought on by usurious bankers. Interest on non-productive loans (his definition of usury) would mount up over the years until the burden became unsustainable, leading to financial collapse and ever higher tax burdens. Odd how history seems to repeat itself.

Jefferson had this to say about the banks:

"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered..."

Prescient, that Founding Father.

LSP

Beards...

2011-10-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

A member of Team LSP has been shipped off to the Front and tells me that he's been having exciting helicopter rides. He also feels like "Abraham in the desert". This makes me suspect that he has grown a beard, which is fast becoming a disturbing trend amongst certain sectors of this site's readership. Not being a Capuchin, I remain clean-shaven. Some people say that "a beard is nothing other than cry for help." JEB Stuart might disagree with that.

In other news, JB is still waiting to "get on the trailer" but she is eating off the back of it. We should have taken a more patient approach first time around. But more on that later.

Say a prayer for everyone stationed overseas.

God bless Texas.

LSP

Horse Attitudes

2011-10-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

Because Bonnie isn't boarding horses anymore, the day came to move JB to fresh pastures. So off I drove to meet a parishioner with a trailer and load up the horse. Did JB want to get into the trailer? Not a bit of it.

After rearing, pulling away, falling over, you name it, we decided to tie her to the entrance of the trailer. Maybe she'd get used to the idea and walk on in. Instead she foolishly attempted to jump over the trailer, pulled loose of the halter and trotted back to her pasture. At least she didn't run off like an out of control Exocet into the countryside.

Now she's in a round pen, the trailer's backed up to its gate with food and water in the back and the horse has a choice. If she wants to eat and drink she can walk in and get it, or she can go hungry. We'll see how that tactic works. If it doesn't, it'll be time to make a 'chute' out of panels and try to funnel her into the trailer.

JB's trailer treason has taught me several things. Wear gloves when loading a recalcitrant horse, otherwise you won't have any skin left on your hands. More importantly, train your horse to get in the trailer, which probably seems to the uninitiated animal on a par with the gates of hell.

Horses are evidently less intelligent than dogs but you can ride them. That is a great bonus.

Cheers,

LSP

Bishop Jane Lost in Space

2011-09-30T15:11:00.000-07:00

This is Jane Alexander, ACoC's (Anglican Church of Canada) jocular Bishop of Edmonton. Perhaps you remember them telling us that no one would take the church seriously unless they ordained women. That worked well, didn't it.

Alexander and her tiny diocese have a mission to proclaim the Gospel, "The Gospel isn't proclaimed from a loudspeaker or a billboard," states Alexander's diocesan website, "but through the loving relationships we build with people around us and the service we offer to our local and global communities."

But Jane, I'm confused. What communities can you possibly be serving as you hurtle through the chill vastness of the stellar void?

Remember, in space no one can hear you scream.

FTL coms with ACoC are presently down for an unspecified period of time.

LSP

Punk is not Dead!

2011-09-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

Derided by some as the "most unpopular ex-pat Britain has ever produced, Piers "Whatapunk" Morgan denies having any connection whatsoever with the UK's phone hacking scandal. The Associated Press seems to question that:

"The 46-year-old's past is already under scrutiny thanks in part to suggestive statements he's made about listening in on other people's voicemails. Morgan has denied ordering anyone to hack a phone or knowingly publishing stories based on hacked information, but he was in charge at the News of the World when it was bribing people for information and freely acknowledged that the practice was wrong.

'It's a disgrace, of course, and totally unethical,' he wrote. 'But very handy.'"

You can read all about it here, via Drudge.

Please, Great Britain, take him back.

LSP

Get Out in the Field and Break your Gun

2011-09-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

Drove out in the scorching, parched, doveless countryside for the customary Thursday morning ride and shoot; rode JB about for a little while but the ground is full of deep and treacherous cracks, which curtails things a bit. Still, it keeps the hand in.

Before plinking about I took the old JC Higgins 103.13 .22 (essentially a Marlin 81 - I think) down for a clean. Very important; if you don't clean your firearms they don't work, even if they're .22s. Trust me. So I cleaned the thing and it broke anyway, because a pin fell out of the trigger mechanism onto the ground. It probably fell down a crack.

Nothing daunted, I pulled out the handy "Leatherman Wave" multitool and a piece of fencing wire -- always carry both in your EDC (every day carry) loadout. That's my advice. Tools in hand I fashioned a new pin, which seemed to do the trick.

Except that it didn't because working the action simply decocked the rifle, rendering the thing useless. 10 out of 10 for in the field gunsmith ingenuity, 0 out of 10 for a working solution. Annoying.

Still, the JC Higgins is ancient, its had many thousands of rounds through it and perhaps the time has come to bite the proverbial bullet and get a new .22 for plinking and shooting the odd rabbit. The broken rifle can be fixed at leisure but in the meanwhile I think I will get an...

Entirely predictable Ruger 10/22 -- birch stock, iron sights (I like the bead front sight) semi-auto, all for the grand price of $200. Thank you, Walmart, for helping me out.

Don't lose bits of your gun down gaping cracks in the earth.

Happy Michaelmas.

LSP

King of Terrors

2011-09-24T14:14:00.000-07:00

When not riding, shooting and going about the business of several country missions, I've been sorting through some of my father's writing, including an unpublished book on Canon Henry Scott Holland.

HSH became Dean of St. Paul's in the late nineteenth century and was a leading light in the Lux Mundi school of the 2nd Oxford Movement. He was a great priest, not least in his work for the poor.

Lytellton had this to say about him, in The Mind and Character of Henry Scott Holland:

"In writing a tentative estimate of a great personality there is a danger of profanity, the attempt to probe what is intended to be a mystery. How can anyone dare to discriminate between any natural character and that which grows from a man being 'born anew': or to indicate the nature of the hidden struggle against temptation; how all fleshly desires are more and more turned into stepping stones to higher things; how the single heart takes the place of the perverse and distempered will; how the craving for approval even of good men 'melts like wax' before the light of the Divine Countenance, as it is lifted up before the wondering eyes; what, in short, is the nature of the self-conquest which is needed if the Holy Spirit is to achieve the miracle of transformation?"

HSH is mostly forgotten now, perhaps that will change. The name of the upcoming book is The King of Terrors, the Theology of Henry Scott Holland.

God bless,

LSP

Market Meltdown - Anglican Church of Canada Launches Stimulus

2011-09-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

As investors fled today's market, dumping everything from equities to gold, ACoC, the small-footprint Canadian Anglican franchise, launched its own brand of stimulus - handing out free tokens in Toronto.

Led by top ACoC official, Bishop Mark MacDonald, clergypersons gave away gratis invites to commuters on the metro area GO Train, asking them to "go back to church."

Dressed in full bishop's regalia, including a "button blanket" depicting an eagle, a wolf, a raven and a killer whale, MacDonald acknowledges he shocked some passengers. "People aren't used to seeing somebody dressed like that, especially at seven o'clock in the morning," said MacDonald in a statement to press.

According to Bishop Patrick Yu, who handed out tokens at Agincourt GO station, ACoC's giveaway gambit might not result in more people going to church. "The success isn't how many people come," said Yu to the Toronto diocesan website, "it's how many people do the inviting."

Others are less optimistic. "Is this Halloween?" remarked one commuter.

NASA scientists predict that ACoC, or similar space debris will fall to earth on Friday, but that's one chance in thousands. "We take in about 450,000 observations per day, and that helps us track the 22,000 space objects that we track currently. The small Anglican Church of Canada is one of them," said Major Michael Duncan at the Defense Department.

Experts are unsure as to whether ACoC's efforts to boost value in time for Back to Church Sunday will coincide with the tiny ecclesial body's possible re-entry into earth atmosphere.

ACoC leader, Fred Hiltz, was unavailable for comment.

Cheers,

LSP

Feast of St. Matthew

2011-09-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

It's the Feast of St. Matthew today and after Mass we discussed that bit in the Bible which goes, "Verily I say unto you, that the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you." (Matt. 21.31)

When I was younger this used to puzzle me. I thought the "publicans" were pub landlords, you see, and where's the evil in that? Well, some might be, but it doesn't necessarily go with the territory. Then I learned that the term means tax collector - and all became clear.

St. Matthew is the patron saint of bankers.

I should imagine he's working overtime.

God bless,

LSP

Berdyaev Sunday

2011-09-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

It's all very well to post dubiously genuine photos of Vladimir "Lord of Awesomness" Putin riding sharks and manning about but it is, I admit, frivolous.

So here's some 1917 vintage Berdyaev to get things back on track.

The soul of the Russian people will be tempered within a more austere morality. Russia has its own mission, distinct from the mission of Germany, France and England. But the fulfilling of this mission lies through culture, through a duty of obedience to the burdens of civilisation. We have mistaken our backwardness for a point of excellence, as a sign of our higher calling and our greatness. But the terrible fact is that the human person for us is drowning in a primitive collectivism, and this is nowise a point of excellence, nor a sign of our greatness. It makes totally no difference, whether this all-engulfing collectivism be that of the "Black Hundreds" or of the "Bolsheviks". The Russian land lives under the power of a pagan khlysty-like element. In this element gets submerged every face, it is incompatible with personal worthiness and personal responsibility. This demonic element can pull forth from its bosom no true face, save only the likes of Rasputin and Lenin. The Russian "Bolshevik Revolution" is a dreadful worldwide reactionary phenomenon, just as reactionary in its spirit, as the "Rasputinism", as the Black Hundred khlystyism. The Russian people, just like every people, has to pass through a religious and cultural discipline of the person. And for this, it is needful to repudiate Russian illusions. The perishing of these illusions is not at all a perishing of the world. For us it is not given to know the times and seasons of the end of the world. And is not the eschatological and apocalyptic investigation of the religious populists of all the Russian woes and the Russian sins -- is this not one of the Russian illusions and temptations, begotten of the Russian self-conceit?

Nothing like a bit of Berdyaev to get the Sunday going, I always think.

God bless,

LSP

London Riots - A Question

2011-09-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

I won't comment on last month's disturbance in London and other British cities but I do have a question.

Just who and what is the blond bloke standing to the right of the 'feral youth' as they loot the Carhartt store in Dalston? Everything else is pretty self-explanatory, but what's he up to?

Curious,

LSP

Putin Peace Prize

2011-09-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

Apart from tranqing tigers, riding horses and sharks, scuba diving, hunting, playing concert piano and flying jets, Vladimir Putin also has his own religious cult and is hailed as an emissary from God.

According to Vladislav Surkov, the Kremlin's first deputy chief of staff, Putin "is a person sent to Russia by fate and by the Lord at a difficult time for Russia... preordained by fate to serve our peoples."

No wonder then that China has nominated the Russian leader for the coveted Confucius Peace Prize. That's not all, in July, a Berlin nonprofit announced plans to give the outdoors loving Russian Prime Minister the sought after Quadriga Award for being a "role model for enlightenment, dedication and the public good." The Award was later withdrawn, prompting Russian President Dimitry Medvedev to blast the Germans for "cowardice and inconsistency."

American President Barak Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009.

Make of that what you will.

LSP

Choppers

2011-09-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

It seems that Team LSP has been hard at work, sending in pictures of choppers. I think they hope I will buy one and roar about the countryside with all the other bikers. It would be like Nam, Chelt'Nam that is, in the '70s, which I vaguely remember being fond of.

But I can't, looking after the live horse is enough for me and I need to save up for some kind of truck, the present Ranger being on loan - pref 4x4. Like a x-cab Z71 or F150 variant. Then there's always the Defender...

On a different theme, it's good to know that unlimited dollar liquidity is being offered to Europe's stuttering banks.

That's solved that nasty little solvency problem then. Entirely.

And another thing, why is Piers Morgan still in power?

Cheers,

LSP

Horse, Gun, Liquidity

2011-09-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

You probably think that the LSP August was all about excursions from Canada to dodgy parts of Detroit, but that was only part of it.

There were horses.

There were guns.

And a visit from my brother and his family from Wales. They were hoping to ride but I didn't think that'd be too safe, so the kids got to give JB treats and attention. That horse has come a long way -- I would have felt very uneasy having children around her a year ago.

But that's not all. Finally managed to read the excellent House of Cards, which is all about the gruesome Bear Stearns blow-up.

And lo and behold, it's happening all over again! But worse! Merkel tells us that we won't have another Lehman Brothers. Well you never know, maybe that magical German alchemy will transmute the radioactive lead on the euro zone balance sheets into fine gold.

Smart people are learning to ride, shoot and grow their own food.

LSP

Detroit House

2011-09-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

Sensible Flag

Marthieu425 took exception to my post "Come on, Move to Detroit." He had

this to say: "It's the most culturally diverse area in the United States. You need some culture sir. Maybe you should come visit before you comment on how "post apocalyptic" it is. It's coming back." Good call, Marthieu425.

So off I went for a well needed dose of "culture" and who knows, maybe I'd find the Motorway City was miraculously "coming back" since I was there last August.

Red's House - no guns allowed...

Red's place on Commonwealth was better. No upended sofa on the front porch, well done, though the ceiling was still down in the "dining room" and the kitchen didn't seem to have any utilities. No change there.

Not much change anywhere, that I could see, with the exception of "Slows" which cooks good BBQ (the place was packed) and the best pint, maybe the only real pint, of ale I've had in the U.S. Not that I'm some sort of beer technologist.

But enough of that, here's some holiday snaps.

Nice

Occupied, oddly enough

Don't go in there

Greening of America

High Density

Strip Mall

Where are all the cars?

Deja Vu

Back to the Garden

Good old CPA building

No trains, sadly

There goes another one

Outlaws

Logan's Run

Back in the Dominion

Detroit catastrophe theorists will be mad at me for not taking any shots of spectacular brick mansions falling into ruin. There's plenty.

But is the place "coming back"? I'd say large swathes of the city have a post-apocalyptic, Nagasaki, forty years on, kind of feel.

You be the judge.

God bless,

LSP

Have a Blessed Sunday

2011-07-31T17:53:00.000-07:00

golden void

Tried to get as much riding in as possible before flying off to the hopefully far cooler North. This means getting up earl and, on Saturday, driving to Miltdown Arabians with the sun at my back. Beautiful, there was even some rain, which was a godsend.

Had a right workout, 'round poles and barrels at a canter/hand gallop, Western style. Total enjoyment and a good change to put some different horses through their paces.

ridiculous

Apart from horses, there was an interesting Gospel text this morning, in the feeding of the 5000, which serves as a type of the Eucharist. But why 5 loaves and 2 fish? 5 signifies the Law (5 books of the Pentateuch), which is fulfilled and sanctified by the twofold nature of Christ who is "true God and true man". The spiritual sustenance of this renewed Law is Christ Himself, who states "I am the bread of life", and is the acrostic in Greek for fish (Jesus Christ Son of God Savior).

He will be the nourishment of the faithful whose number is 5000; as we are reminded in Acts, "The number of those who believed were 5000." These are the multitude of the new Law and constitute a new Israel, signified by the 12 baskets of food left over - fed by none other than Our Lord.

When I was a child, Rev. Ronnie Loyd, a Welshman, taught us that the real miracle and the spiritual meaning of the text, was that Jesus persuaded the 5000 to share their lunches, making it the "miracle of the bag lunches".

hippys

Not dissimilar, I suppose, to a hippy "be-in" but without the thieving and general knavishness. I mentioned this interpretation to the congregation and denounced it trenchantly as, "Rubbish!"

God bless you all, not least in the Sacrament of the Altar.

Canada tomorrow.

LSP

Beware the Boar

2011-07-29T07:20:00.000-07:00

Escape from New York

Team LSP NYC had to escape the summer rigor of 'the Isand' for Turkey and stumbled upon the ruined temple of Artemis (Diana). It was one of the Wonders of the classical world but not much remains today after successive earthquakes, fires and looting.

Artemis could be difficult at times and wasn't above alliance with wild hogs. Here's an excerpt from Ovid:

"‘This shall not pass unpunished. No!’ she cried, ‘I may be seen unhonoured, true, but never unavenged!’

"The smarting goddess sent a giant Boar, huge as the bulls that grassy Epiros breeds, dwarfing the bulls of fertile Sicula (Sicily); his eyes ablaze with fire and blood; his neck solid and steep; his bristles long and sharp, rigid as spearshafts; his broad sweeping flanks flecked, as he hissed and snorted, with hot foam. His mouth flashed lightning and his burning breath seared the green leaves. Now the young growing corn he trampled in the blade... The people fled..."

And who can blame them? Then up springs Ancaeus:

"‘Learn how far the weapons of a man surpass a girl’s and leave this task to me! Even though Latonia [Artemis] shields him from the blow, despite Diana [Artemis], mine shall lay him low!’ Such was Ancaeus’ braggart brazen boast, and raising in both hands his double axe he balanced on his feet and stood tiptoe. Brave and bold! but the beast struck first and plunged both tusks high in his groin, the shortest road to death, and down he fell and, disembowelled, his guts gushed out and soaked the ground with gore."

Moral of the story? Kill the hog with the first shot and don't disrespect women. Or something like that.

Cheers,

LSP

PS. Why Piers must go back from whence he came - see Guido.

Piers Morgan - Please send him back.

2011-07-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

Twister

Hailed at Crack.com as "one of the most unpopular journalists working in the UK," Piers Morgan was once editor of Britain's left-leaning Daily Mirror, until he was fired for running fake pictures of British troops abusing Iraqi prisoners.

But he had made lots of money through shrewd investments in the stock market, and moved to America, where he interviews Oprah on CNN and does Simon Cowell impersonations on America's Got Talent.

Now it seems as if the media mogul's past is catching up with him.

James Hipwell, a former journalist at the Mirror during 'The Dark Lord's' tenure, has claimed it was "inconceivable" that his old boss didn't know about 'phone hacking at the tabloid.

Morgan has vehemently denied the accusations, stating, “I have never hacked a phone, told anyone to hack a phone, nor to my knowledge published any story obtained from the hacking of a phone. I am not aware, and have never seen evidence to suggest otherwise, that any Mirror story published during my tenure was obtained from phone hacking.”

Dark Lord

But Piers seems to have said something different in 2009 on the BBC's Desert Island Discs, "...people who rake through bins for a living, people who tap people’s phones, people who take secret photographs, who do all that nasty down-in-the-gutter stuff... How did you feel about that?

"Mr Morgan replied: 'To be honest, let’s put that in perspective as well. Not a lot of that went on. A lot of it was done by third parties rather than the staff themselves. That’s not to defend it, because obviously you were running the results of their work.

'I’m quite happy to be parked in the corner of tabloid beast and to have to sit here defending all these things I used to get up to, and I make no pretence about the stuff we used to do,' he told the programme's host, Kirsty Young.

'I simply say the net of people doing it was very wide, and certainly encompassed the high and low end of the supposed newspaper market.'"

"I simply say the net of people doing it was very wide..."

Maybe "The Mad God" will be summoned back to England by its masters?

You can read all about it in the Telegraph and Guido.

Cheers,

LSP

Come on. Move to Detroit.

2011-07-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

Detroit

It's tempting to write something about the crazed Norwegian Templar(?!) and the Jihad, or Amy Winehouse, or the peculiar speech delivered by Barak 'He's less of a man than Putin' Obama last night.

Evil Madman

But the recent 'cash incentives to live downtown' caught my eye.

'Cash incentives to live downtown?' you ask, 'Where?'

Motor City

Detroit, of course. Under a new $4 million scheme to revitalize Motown, first time home buyers will get a $20,000 forgivable loan and renters a grant of $3,000 spread over two years. That's not all, existing owners living in Detroit's post-apocalyptic urban wasteland will be eligible for a $5000 'exterior improvement' grant.

Tempted? Neither am I. Though my old friend 'Red' (why didn't he get in trouble for firing off a shotgun in an abandoned house last year - why?) might think of applying for the 'home improvement' money.

I'll suggest it when I visit next week before crossing the river to Canada and the comparative safety of Windsor.

Pray for rain.

LSP

Evil, Satanic Dinosaurs!

2011-07-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

Buck-Toothed Evil Spirit

Normally I reserve Alien Head Awards for Bishops, like Sean Manchester, Desmond 'little rascal' Tutu, or Jefferts Schori. But the net's been widened.

You see, there's a whole new class of off-world tomfoolery doing the ecclesial rounds; evil dinosaur theorists. Their theology goes a bit like this:

Dinosaurs aren't mentioned in the Bible, they were fierce, bloodthirsty and strange looking. Satan was a snake, similar to a dinosaur, but smaller. Satan created the dinosaurs but God got fed up with their wicked antics, so He destroyed them. That's why they didn't get a place in the Ark, obviously.

Here's an excerpt from Royce & Zolot's seminal work, "Did God Destroy the Dinosaurs?"

"... Satan turned Earth into a freakish, hellish nightmare world drenched in the blood and gore of violence, death and destruction, an obscene parody of what God had intended. ... His bloodlust became insatiable. Lucifer abused his creative powers by creating a planet with a steamy, wet, tropical climate, a planet populated by dinosaurs, sea reptiles, flying serpents and other abnormal, grotesque creatures and monstrosities. ..."

Who knew? Now we do.

Royce, Zolot, you get an outstanding ten Alien Heads - so do your catholic friends in DFW, but I won't name names.

Well done. Carry on.

LSP

x10

Bishop, Alien, Monkey?

2011-07-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ingham

Villagers in China have made a shocking discovery, a strange creature that could be one of the long lost Bishops of ACoC. (Anglican Church of Canada)

Mrs. Mao Xiping thought it was a harmless rabbit until she noticed that the creature had an 'alien face'. Her neighbours agreed it was like nothing they had ever seen before and thought it acted 'a lot like Bishop Ingham, gobbling up everything in sight.'

Space Aliens

After devouring cucumbers, peaches and local churches, the creature was caged in a washing basket and taken to police, who arrested it.

'It has a voracious appetite,' said Mrs. Mao, who remains convinced that she caught ACoC's litigious Bishop of New Westminster.

But experts aren't convinced. 'It could be a Canadian Bishop, or an alien, or a monkey,' said one scientist, 'It's hard to tell.'

Monkey

When last seen, the tiny ACoC was heading into the icy vastness of deep space.

Archbishop Fred Hiltz was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Honestly

2011-07-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

Yatesy

Drudge via Reuters:

"Is Britain more corrupt than it thinks?

No, never.

LSP

LSH

2011-07-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

Strathcona

Too hot to do much except post an important picture of Lord Strathcona's Horse parading through Calgary. I understand the men, tanks and horses of that outstanding unit are well behind the popular movement to Give Kate Canada.

Loyal

Just sayin'.

Try not to melt.

LSP

Scorcher

2011-07-15T10:38:00.000-07:00

Incredibly hot, something like 107 by 10 am this morning, but that didn't stop a drive over to JB's new pasture and a ride.

A few months ago she would have regressed back to being flighty, hard to catch and generally difficult, which was what I expected.

Not at all; JB was easy to catch, saddle, bridle and ride. We got up to some simple walk, trot, canter exercises until the heat got even more searing than it already was. So I was pleased with that, had a good shoot afterwards too, never mind the heat.

On a less sanguine front, unless you happen to be a gold investor, is this (from the Daily Telegraph via Drudge). It's a statement from Peter Hambro, chairman of the U.K's biggest gold listing:

"One of the big US banks texted me today to say that if QE3 actually happens, we could see gold at $5,000 and silver at $1,000. I feel terribly sorry for anybody on fixed incomes tied to a fiat currency because they are not going to be able to buy things with that paper money."

We're all doomed.

Stay on the horse.

LSP

Preston Benediction - Remarkable.

2011-07-11T09:33:00.001-07:00

Rarely post videos because I find it a nuisance, but I was struck by this one. Sent from GWB, linguistic philosopher and all round sportsman.

God bless,

LSP

Putin v Obama

2011-07-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

Vladimir Putin rides, shoots and likes to hunt whales, from a Zodiak, thank you very much.

Our leader likes to 'get out in the field' too.

Putin has his own cult, which worships him as the reincarnation of a Tsar and St. Paul.

Of course we're immune from that sort of thing, here in the States.

Cheers,

LSP

Good Arabs

2011-07-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

I know it's odd, but both LSP missions are heavily populated by shooters and riders, which means I get to combine pastoral visits with guns and horses and, lately, drive off to Waco where a member of the congregation has a stable of Arabians.

Arabs

They're fine, well trained, intelligent animals and a real pleasure to ride; I took off on Saheem the other day - walk, trot, canter, gallop, run! We sped along, fast and flat. Exhilarating.

Then it was off to Lake Waco at a more relaxed pace, interspersed with the odd theology conversation.

Rider 1: "So, LSP, are you a Plato/Augustine man, or an Aristotle/Thomist?"
LSP: "Aristotle/Thomist, old chap."
Rider 1: "Thought so."
LSP: "But both are good. Unlike Hauerwas."
Rider 2: "He's bad. Got it all from Yoder."
Rider 1: "Yoder? They worship him at Duke."
LSP: "Useless. Saheem - canter!"

Saheem

And so on. Got into an informal race on the way back, chasing after my Platonist friend, "Rider 1". He has a book out on Just War Theory - sure to be a hit in LSPland.

A big vote of thanks to Miltown Arabians for the pleasure of a great ride - hopefully the first of many.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Hippy Witches

2011-07-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Albion and Raven

Before settling down to the serious task of travelling backwards in time to meet a "go to press" deadline, I had a quick gaze at the All Seeing Eye's excellent blog. Two witches, Albion and Raven, have been terrorising a Warwickshire town with their scary seances and attempts to communicate with the dead. They've even opened up a "witch shop", the "Whispering Witch".

It seems the terrified locals aren't too keen on this experiment and have taken to using the "Whispering Witch" as a kind of outdoor "privy". You can read about it here.

The All Seeing Eye thinks they're "running" from something/somebody; perhaps they are, but then again, maybe the unholy duo are simply run-of-the-mill Episcopalien clergypersons.

Spark up the fire.

Hope your 4th of July was fun,

LSP

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, I used to look out across the Detroit river on Independence Day, watch the fireworks, then listen to the running gun battles breaking out across the Motor(way) City; all from the safety of an apartment in Windsor. The next day you could read all about it, "In a brisk firefight outside the Bastille Bar and Grille, five midnight revelers were killed when assailants opened fire with AK 47s and Uzis. Another seven bystanders were wounded in the ensuing exchange of shots.A further unspecified number of persons were admitted to hospital throughout the night, suffering from gunshot wounds. These are mostly believed to have been caused by the 4th of July custom of discharging firearms into the air..." etc.

Perhaps you think I'm somehow "making that up"? Well, think again.

Whatever the case, have a blessed Independence Day and don't get into any tomfoolery with guns.

Cheers,

LSP