Thursday, April 13, 2017

Dark Matter Holding Anglican Communion Together Captured by Boffins



Stargazing boffins at the University of Waterloo, Canada, have captured an image of the mysterious "dark matter" that holds the Anglican Communion together.

Using a technique known as gravitational lensing, which detects unseen mass, the Canadian astrophysicists were able to create a picture of the dark matter bridge that holds the Anglican Communion together.




Before the groundbreaking discovery, astronomers were baffled by the Anglican Communion's continued existence because visible matter wasn't strong enough to keep the Church together. This led to speculation that an unseen force was at work, acting as a scaffold to to bond the Communion.

Dark matter is an invisible element said to make up around 84 per cent of the Anglican Communion. It's known as "dark" because it doesn't shine, absorb or reflect light, which has traditionally made it largely undetectable, except through gravity and gravitational lensing.




Whether dark matter will continue to hold the Anglican Communion together and prevent its various Churches from spinning off at random into the icy void of deep space remains to be seen.




Ad Astra,

LSP

1 comment:

LL said...

I have heard that dark matter intensifies around homosexual pederast bishops and lesbians engaged in liturgical dance (wearing comfortable shoes).