Saturday, April 29, 2017

Miserable Offenders



It sounds simple and it should be simple. As the heat climbs ever higher, turn on the AC and enjoy the cooling blast of chilled air. 

That's the myth. The reality is you turn on the air and all you get is a groan and a hiss as the temperature in the house approaches ovenlike intensity. 


Broken Rubbish

What do you do when that happens? Get out the fans, open the large screened windows and start to melt while you call the HVAC tech. But hey, whoever said the War on Weather'd be easy?


El Nino Will Build The Wall

Speaking of which, Senator Ted Cruz has sensibly suggested that we use El Nino's confiscated millions to build the much-needed border wall. Good call.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Tooth Puller

A typical dentist street scene

Some people write books and edit and publish them, others ride, shoot and fish. Others again spend all their time at the dentist.


His teeth are fine

I fall into the latter category as the ongoing saga of new teeth continues. Like life itself it's a process, and hopefully an upwards movement towards perfection. But my advice to you is this.

Keep your teeth, if you can.

LSP

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

What a Clown



Bruce Jenner street art is appearing all over Hollywood, depicting the scary looking transsexual as the sinister clown Pennywise in Stephen King's horror story IT.

The frightening street art followed Jenner's interview with Diane Sawyer, on 20/20, in which the millionaire celebrity threatened the President.




“The deal breaker is," stated Jenner, "you mess with my community, you do the wrong thing with our community, you don’t give us equality and a fair shot, I’m coming after you."


Typically Awesome Sabo Art

Jenner is famous being awarded the coveted Woman of the Year award by Vanity Fair even though he's a man.

Sabo is famous for being awesome.

I'm off fishing.

God bless,

LSP

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Dance, it's Earth Day!



It's Earth Day, and what better way to celebrate than with dance, liturgical dance! Or even an elemental earth healing ritual. If you do, don't forget the Setting:

Set the altar with a bowl of seeds, a cup or muffin cup with soil for each participant, a small glass of water for each participant, wind chimes, and a candle. You will use the soil, water, chimes, and candle during the section “Women Crying out for Justice.” Each participant will plant seeds in the soil as s/he shares during the reflection time, then take them home to plant. You may also want to add Earth Day objects to your altar that are important to you or your group.





Once you've got all that in place you can Call the  Elements, like this:

(Face East, raise your arms above your head.)
Oh Great Spirit of the East, House of Light and the rising sun, May the new life of spring blossom in usSo we may start each day anew, and be renewed.
(Face North, cross your arms in front of your chest and sway from side to side.)
Oh Great Spirit of the North, House of Night and falling rain, May the cold and uncertain winters in our lives strengthen us So we may be ready to welcome spring, and be renewed.

Beautiful, isn't it? And there's plenty more, check it out. But here's a thought, as you're swaying from side to side in front of your womyn's altar. 




It's all a right larf until you wake up in a Wicker Man. And it's on fire.

Gaia Rules,

LSP 

Friday, April 21, 2017

Cooking With LSP, Toad in the Hole



"Cooking with LSP is as dangerous as it's absurd," you mutter darkly to yourself. But not so fast, it's possible and here's how.

Get hold of a large iron pot, a mixing bowl, some flour, a pack of Johnson's Original Brats, if you can't find English bangers, eggs and milk. Then bask in the cost-effective simplicity of the ingredients. Well done, you're making Toad in the Hole; cheap and simple, nothing fancy and mighty tasty. 




Self-congratulatory reverie over, make the batter by mixing up a cup of flour, 3 eggs and 1 1/4 cups of milk in your bowl, the consistency should be smooth. Add a pinch of salt and set the mix aside in the fridge as you preheat an oven to 425. Have a glass of wine in the interim, or not. There's no rule.

Next step, pour some oil in the iron pot, add the sausages and fry until golden brown, for about 10 minutes. Watch them hiss and spit like defeated Democrats, then take your batter from the fridge, nicely chilled, and pour it directly over the sausages. (NB. some experts set the sausages aside, pour some batter in a hot pan to make a base, let it cook for 5 minutes, then add sausages and the rest of the batter. )




It won't look pretty. But don't freak out like a Spirit-Cooking Podesta staring down the barrel of emailgate, just put the whole thing in the oven, uncovered, and let it cook for 25 minutes.




After its stint in the oven, take the pot out and stare in amazement at the batter which has risen up around the sausages. Congratulations, you've made Toad in the Hole.

Cut it up and serve with onion gravy and vegetables. Then eat your scoff like a warrior.

And that's cooking with...

LSP

Thursday, April 20, 2017

What A Carry On



Unlike our enemy, Satan, I decided to take a couple of days off after Easter to do my very best at doing nothing at all. And look what happened.

Bill O'Reilly gets the Order of the Boot, Julian Assange is apparently being threatened by the Justice Department and the Religion of Peace decided to cook off in Paris, yet again. Why? Because it's so peaceful, obviously.




You see what happens when you take your hand off the wheel? Disaster. Meanwhile, the world wants to know, so-called Justice Department. Why are you going after Assange instead of Hillary Clinton? She's still at large, inexplicably, even though she is a notorious criminal.




In other exciting news, we're making Toad in the Hole (English style) or TITH, here at the Compound, but that's another story again.

God bless,

LSP

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Holy Saturday



The Altars are stripped and the Tabernacles empty, Christ lies in the Tomb.

GRANT, O Lord, that as we are baptized into the death of thy blessed Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, so by continual mortifying our corrupt affections we may be buried with him; and that through the grave, and gate of death, we may pass to our joyful resurrection; for his merits, who died, and was buried, and rose again for us, the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Friday, April 14, 2017

Good Friday




I read this the other day, somewhere on Zerohedge, it seems appropriate:

With no God to worship, men invariably worship the feeling of their own supremacy, reflected in their capacity for engineered extermination.

Apt words as we slide, apparently, ever closer to war. In the meanwhile, Christ hangs on the Cross: 

ALMIGHTY God, we beseech thee graciously to behold this thy family, for which our Lord Jesus Christ was contented to be betrayed, and given up into the hands of wicked men, and to suffer death upon the cross; who now liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost ever, one God, world without end. Amen. 

ALMIGHTY and everlasting God, by whose Spirit the whole body of the Church is governed and sanctified; Receive our supplications and prayers, which we offer before thee for all estates of men in thy holy Church, that every member of the same, in his vocation and ministry, may truly and godly serve thee; through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.

MERCIFUL God, who hast made all men, and hatest nothing that thou hast made, nor desirest the death of a sinner, but rather that he should be converted and live; Have mercy upon all who know thee not as thou art revealed in the Gospel of thy Son. Take from them all ignorance, hardness of heart, and contempt of thy Word; and so fetch them home, blessed Lord, to thy fold, that they may be made one flock under one shepherd, Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen.

God bless,

LSP 

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Dark Matter Holding Anglican Communion Together Captured by Boffins



Stargazing boffins at the University of Waterloo, Canada, have captured an image of the mysterious "dark matter" that holds the Anglican Communion together.

Using a technique known as gravitational lensing, which detects unseen mass, the Canadian astrophysicists were able to create a picture of the dark matter bridge that holds the Anglican Communion together.




Before the groundbreaking discovery, astronomers were baffled by the Anglican Communion's continued existence because visible matter wasn't strong enough to keep the Church together. This led to speculation that an unseen force was at work, acting as a scaffold to to bond the Communion.

Dark matter is an invisible element said to make up around 84 per cent of the Anglican Communion. It's known as "dark" because it doesn't shine, absorb or reflect light, which has traditionally made it largely undetectable, except through gravity and gravitational lensing.




Whether dark matter will continue to hold the Anglican Communion together and prevent its various Churches from spinning off at random into the icy void of deep space remains to be seen.




Ad Astra,

LSP

Maundy Thursday



Listen up, heathen. It's Maundy Thursday, so here's a prayer:


Almighty Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, instituted the Sacrament of his Body and Blood: Mercifully grant that we may thankfully receive the same in remembrance of him who in these holy mysteries giveth us a pledge of life eternal, the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord; who now liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit ever, one God, world without end. Amen.

Have a blessed Triduum,

LSP

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Unholy Week



Police are appealing to the public following a carjacking in Ann Arbor, a suburb of Detroit.

The incident occurred around 1 a.m. in the 400 block of Washington Street, when two men forced a driver from his car at gunpoint. The carjackers then drove the vehicle a short way before crashing it and fleeing the scene on foot. 


Justin Welby, left, and Cursitor Doom, right.


Police describe the suspects as middle-aged, balding, white Caucasian males with grey complexions. CCTV footage shows the men have a striking resemblance to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and the Rev. Cursitor Doom, aka "Giles Fraser."


The Archbishop of Canterbury

Anyone with information about this crime is asked to call the Michigan Crime Line: 1-800-SPEAK-UP.

Lambeth Palace was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Chrism Mass 2017



Every year the clergy of the Diocese of Fort meet in Holy Week at St. Vincent's Cathedral in Bedford, Texas, for the diocesan Chrism Mass. Thanks for the photo, Fr. C.

But guess what, there's no liturgical dance and there aren't any clowns goofing off in the cathedral. Perhaps, in your book, this disqualifies the event as a meaningful worship experience. I find it a relief, but that's just me. 


Goofing Off in Church

This year's sermon had its moments too, including a quote from Evelyn Underhill:

God is the interesting thing about religion, and people are hungry for God. But only a priest whose life is soaked in prayer, sacrifice, and love can, by his own spirit of adoring worship, help us to apprehend Him.




I felt judged, and rightly so, by that.

God bless,

LSP

Monday, April 10, 2017

Don't be a Determinist Goon, Fish



Life, unless you're some kind of rubbish determinist, involves a series of free-will choices. For example, you can choose to attack the Islamist savages, ISIS. Or you can attack the regime that's fighting them by throwing missiles at their airfields. Your choice.

Likewise, you can sit staring at a computer in slack-jawed rightist consternation as our country slides closer and closer to war, or you can go fishing. I chose the latter option and loaded a couple of rods in the rig and headed to Soldier's Bluff.




The Texan wildflowers were out and I wondered if that was a good omen; Bluebonnets in flower, fish bite with power, sort of thing. But no, they didn't. The bites were sluggish and slurpy and I lost a lot of worms without closing the deal.

For the first time in months, no catch, and that was everyone else's experience there on the bluffs. Still, it was good to get out in the clean air by the lake, it always is. There's peace in it and, if the fish are behaving, excitement too.


Your Old Pal

There was another kind of excitement driving through a storm to Dallas later in the day. Lightning seared the horizon, like Tesla attempting to harness Satan, as rain crashed down onto I35. God's judgement on the metrosprawl.

Fish on,

LSP

Melania Mondays!



Maybe you had a good weekend, maybe not, but whatever the case it's about to get better. That's right, because it's Melania Monday! One notable member of the intelligence community sent in this uplifting picture of the First Lady:




And who can blame him, Melania's looking good unlike, say, Chelsea Handler or Rosie O'Donnell. 




Both unattractive Chelsea and repellent Rosie are millionaire socialists who think it's wrong to make America great again. 




Melania, who isn't a canting, hypocritical, venal, leftist celebtrity, thinks differently and is now being praised by CNN for demonstrating "grace, kindness and patience."




Well done, First Lady, for doing your part to lift the spirit and heart of the nation.

MAGA

LSP

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Black Pigeon Gets Truthy



Check out Black Pigeon's Syria analysis (via WRSA), in which BP suggests that the missile attack was a false flag exercise in Kabuki Theater and, most likely, a one-off event which changes nothing. 

Also note his description of the slimy, corrupt, lying, elite, smug mainstream media. The infovid's worth it for that alone. There's a neat photo of the DAARPA deranged McCain, too.

Speaking of which, have you noticed the trending #FireKushner?

Cheers,

LSP

Up Your Pipe!(line)



Some people like to put their ready cash in a monkey, perhaps a baboon or a chimp if you can't afford the taxidermy on the larger trophy. And when a burglar confronts you in your study demanding cash, you gesture calmly to the simian floor safe, "The money's up the monkey, help yourself." It's a kind of preface to the thunder of a .357 Magnum.




Now imagine this scenario on a larger scale, replace the monkey with pipelines, a revolver with cruise missiles and you have something approaching Syria. Like the infamous monkey, pipelines are key to understanding the scenario. Here's a helpful infographic from Zerohedge:




For a quick-to-read backgrounder on the pipeline dimension to the Syrian affair, check out The Oil-Gas War Over Syria (In 4 Maps).

Then ask yourself, when you've finished reading, who the good guys are.

Here endeth the Lesson,

LSP

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Palm Sunday Wisdom




Tomorrow's Palm Sunday and it always seems, liturgically, to be a bit of a double cross. We welcome Christ as King, Hosanna in the highest, and the next minute it's Crucify Him. But it's in the Passion that Christ's kingship is revealed.

The late Fr. Crouse puts it well:

"Are you a king then?" asks Pilate. Yes, he is a king. "Thou sayest it." Yes, he is a king. But kingship is not what Pilate thinks it is; not what the world thinks it is. Yes, he is a king: "But now is my kingdom not from hence, if it were, then would my servants fight...but now is my kingdom not from hence." The ways of God's Kingdom are not the world's ways, and the glory of its kingship is altogether different. Its kingship is the kingship of a servant, its liberty is the liberty of free obedience; its virtue is humility. "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." That is the essential message of this day.




Its virtue is humility or blessed are the poor in spirit. Theirs, we learn, is the kingdom of heaven. By the grace of God.

Defeat the Turk,

LSP

On Guard



We're standing guard, here at the Compound, while the commentariat debates the latest Syria news. 

Was Trump making a power play to Chicom President Xi and the Norks, while temporarily sacrificing relations with Russia to win over the corrupt, lying, elite, hypocritical, venal, rude mainstream media and their establishment political patrons? 




Or was he simply shilling for the New World Order Globalists and their useful stooges in the Jihad? You be the judge. 




In related news, I'm pleased with the sofa I bought the other day in far, far north Dallas. It was cheap, easy to put together and it works. Good result and it replaces an ancient loveseat that had been taken over by Blue Upholstery.




Blue Sofa's not allowed on this couch, though he's welcome on the Moslem rugs. "Furniture's for humans, not for dogs," I tell him sternly, and he pads off to a large cushion in the dining room, where he bides his time. 

God bless,

LSP

Friday, April 7, 2017

Bombs Away, ISIS Laughs



In the wake of America's attack on a Syrian government airfield, Russia has declared that relations with the US are "crippled."

So too are the chances of a US/Russian alliance against Islamic terror. Rather than join forces against the head choppers, it seems that America and its President have opted to support Saudi Arabia and Qatar in their push to remove Assad, via the use of mercenary Jihadists. And US missile power.


Oh no, can't do that!

If we succeed in toppling the Assad regime then our friends in Riyadh and Doha can, at long last, drive a pipeline through Syria and break Russia's hold over European oil and gas.




Of course that comes with a price, yet more Jihad savagery, yet another country ruined by US foreign policy and the chance of war with Russia. Still, at least no one can accuse Trump of being a Russian spy, unless they work for one of our lying, mendacious, venal, corrupt, elite media outlets, like CNN.




In related news, a Mohammedan rammed a truck into a crowd of people in Stockholm. You'd think we'd team up with Russia to put a stop to this disease.

Apparently that's beyond us.

ISIS laughs,

LSP