Friday, October 21, 2016

Is Hillary Clinton An Android?



Why doesn't presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, sweat? Why do her eyes operate independently of one another? Why does her speech sound fabricated, somehow false and inhuman, and why does she appear strangely unsexed? Is it because "she" is, in fact, an "it," an android artificial intelligence?


Robot Eyes

According to a well placed source in the Intelligence Community, Hillary, or "Hillbot" as it's called by its handlers, is in reality a DAARPA manufactured android:

The Witch Mk II is good for what it is, but it's DAARPA 2gen tech (second generation technology). Sure, it can look good and even sound pretty human, then it starts to go awry. Its hands tremble, it falls over, its eyes don't focus and it gets locked into this creepy grin. Sometimes it swears uncontrollably. It's cold-fish-frigid, we call it 'Hillbot.'

The malfunctioning 'droid admitted it was a robot in an interview with the millionaire socialist fashion magazine, Vanity Fair


AI Crash

You guys are the first to realize that I’m really not even a human being. I was constructed in a garage in Palo Alto a very long time ago. People think that, you know, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, they created it. Oh no. I mean, a man whose name shall remain nameless created me in his garage.
I thought he threw away the plans, at least that’s what he told me when he programmed me — that there would be no more. I’ve seen more people that kind of don’t sweat, and other things, that make me think maybe they are part of the new race that he created: the robot race.


Droid

Hillary Clinton, a robot. In its own words.

You be the judge,

LSP

23 comments:

Jules said...

HillBot. The Witch Mk 11 ~ I like it. Good grief, I look at these pictures and wonder how Ralph Lauren and makeup manage to do such a good job. Hats off to them.

And this is why boys shouldn’t potter round in their garages on a Saturday afternoon. One too many beers and look what happens….

LindaG said...

I did get a good chuckle.

However, I have always had trouble sweating. In fact, until the last few years, I just kind of cooked like a lobster.
I sweat more easily now than I used to, but it still takes the right weather variables, or I just get hotter, like I used to.

How many MkIIs are in the wings if this one fails? That's a depressing thought. ;-)

Be safe and God bless.

LL said...

Assembled by flying monkeys? Perhaps. I sense something darker and more diabolical at work than even that.

Miss Hill said...

Her being an Android may explain her indefensible disregard for human life.

Anonymous said...

She is a Dalek - they have problems with stairs.

Adrienne said...

I'm thinking there may be more than one robot.

GruntOfMonteCristo said...

Having lived in Cupertino and hung around Palo Alto garages swigging bottles of Anchor Steam and spinning wrenches, I have to defend those guys. Nobody would build a Hillbot in his garage on a Saturday morning in sunny Palo Alto. Hillbots are made by slave labor in remote, jungle gulags in SE Asia or snowy Siberian camps, and then the workers are killed to protect the secrets of the monsters they have made.

LSP said...

Jules, AI sounds great in theory but the bots seem to have this tendency to turn on their creators. Scary.

LSP said...

Let's hope there's only one, Linda.

LSP said...

I do too, LL. Remember the flies?

LSP said...

But Hill, all she wants to do is defend "the toddlers"!

LSP said...

Anonymous, you have a point.

LSP said...

Sure looks that way, Adrienne. Blue Sunglasses Bot is obviously different than the Debate Bot.

LSP said...

Grunt, you called it. The Hillbot is a pathological liar. Palo Alto? Yeah, right.

Euripides said...

Yes. Yes she is.

An her left eye needs an adjustment.

Infidel de Manahatta said...

Well she's been behaving very flaky. The operating system must be Windows Vista.

LL said...

It might be better if they gave her a better looking skin. That one looks withered as an old prune. Just stretch it over the basic android frame - I think that the Paula Jones look would be more appealing to voters.

There would be a lot of conservatives who would vote for the new Paula Jones Hilbot just to f@#k with Slick Willy. You wouldn't want to do a Monica Hilbot because Slick Willy might derive some joy from that one if they changed the sagging, flaccid flesh and ass three sizes too large on the rest of the robot.

Unknown said...

Too far. We're above that.

LSP said...

It looks that way to me, Euripides. Just look at the evidence.

LSP said...

Heh. Vista. I'd forgotten all about that, Infidel.

LSP said...

LL, very different than, say, Melania. Or Ivanka. They've got my vote.

LSP said...

Anonymous, take it up with DAARPA.

Miss Hill said...

You guys are brutal. Her inability to rule the free world has nothing to do with her scumbag husband or waning collagen. Margaret Thatcher pulled it off. We can't all look like Benazir Bhutto. :)