Monday, April 11, 2016

Snake Hunt!



What do you need to go on a snake hunt? A knife might come in handy, so take one. Take a hat, too, to keep the scorching April sun off your head. Wear boots, as an extra layer of protection against the sharp fangs of the snakes and vicious Texan thorns. But what about a gun?


A Hat

Yes, you'll need one. I chose a battered Mossberg 12 gauge pump. OK, it's not a fancy-pants, Ivy League, boarding school, Illuminati elite, Country Club double, but so what? It gets the job done.


Spot the Space Junk

Now that you're loaded for snake, set off and check out the serpentzone. I poked around in a pile of space junk that I knew a rattlesnake was fond of. How did I know? Because I saw it there the other day, with GWB. No luck. Next, peer down into a small ravine and gaze at the clear water of its creek. Tranquil, that's for sure, but still no snake.


So Where's the Snake?

Don't give up, like a beaten army, scout along a treeline and observe various animal bones while looking for Indian artifacts, maybe there'll be a snake. No, there wasn't; there were plenty of wild flowers, most attractive, but still no snake. Perhaps the snakes will be at the Beach, I thought, after all, they love water. Especially Water Moccasins. 


The Beach. Watch out for Snakes

Alright, go to the beach and look in wonder at the height of the water, chances are there'll be a snake. They do, in fact, like to congregate in places like the Beach, so if you're thinking of using this snake hunt as a guide, be careful when knocking about the shorelines of snaky tanks, I was. Regardless, the serpents were hiding, unlike the frogs which were in abundance.


Snake Territory

I called it a day after the Beach and counted it a successful armed stroll through the Texan countryside. And there's nothing wrong with that. At all.

As I write this serpentine wisdom, big lightning fills the eastern night sky like an artillery barrage, but it's silent so far.

Your Pal,

LSP

12 comments:

LL said...

Sometimes the armed stroll through the countryside is just as good as bagging game. After all, it's also how well you play the game.

LSP said...

Well said. You know, I'm perfectly happy to ramble about the countryside and if a target presents itself, well and good. It beats driving around the metrosprawl, that's for sure.

Brighid said...

Your ears are going to burn... with that cap. A proper Texas cowboy hat is called for, and a wild rag to wipe the sweat with wouldn't hurt. Plus you could use it to flag down a senorita.
Good to hear you are on the look out for snakes.

LSP said...

Good point and I thought the very same thing when setting out. Good thing it wasn't July/August, or May...

Fredd said...

Reverend: I used to own a Mossberg 12 gauge pump, and when you shook it, the thing rattled like a Coke can full of nickels. Sloppiest action on that beast west of the Mississippi. I don't really know how the local Texans would react to seeing some fancy pants city dude sporting a nickel plated Ithica over/under. I think they would beat him up.

LSP said...

My Mossberg does rattle about but it's shot a fair bit over the years I've had it, so I'm not complaining. Mind you, I wouldn't mind a good double, pricey though.

Adrienne said...

Reminds me of the time we had a very, very large rattler in our back yard when we lived in Sedona, AZ. It almost got me and my little Yorkie. After we flushed him out of the bushes where he had gone to hide, he was quickly dispatched with a gazillion shots. The last thing I'd want to do is actually go looking for the beasts.

LSP said...

They're scary beasts. I was hoping for some Water Mocs at "the beach" but they were all in hiding. Oh well, snake dinner and hat band next time.

Michael Peterson said...

Sleet patters against my office window as I read this. I would be totally envious of your hat and scorching sun ifthat wasn't, like, a totally deadly sin.
I lived three years in SE Alberta and never saw a rattler. Heard them while out on the prairie, never saw them. That was all right with me. My old neighbour told me she kept a corn broom on her stoop in case there was a rattler needed shooing away. She was tough, that neighbour.
My wife, the lovely Mdme. Padre, remembers water mocs from growing up in Mississippi. She's not a snake fan, that girl.

LL said...

Are you positive that there aren't any crocs in addition to the mocs at the beach???

LSP said...

It sure looks like there should be...

LSP said...

Sleet in April, Padre! I like Canada a lot but the weather can be difficult. Mind you, it gets fierce in Texas too, in the different direction.

As for snakes, well, I don't have any compunction about shooting them. They're a hazard; think twice before you take a refreshing dip in the tranquil tank...