Thursday, December 3, 2015

It Was The Pork That Did It!



Workplace violence, The Weather, El Nino, guns, simple rage, you name it, the race was on to find the motive behind the apparently inexplicable shootings in California. But now the search is over, and the culprit is pork!

According to eye witnesses who were in the Inland Resource Center in Loma Linda, CA and attending the Christmas Party where the attacks took place, Muslim employees of the county had previously asked that Pork products not be served. When one of those Muslims arrived at the event and saw that, in addition to many other foods, Bacon and Pork Sausage was being served, he angrily confronted other party-goers - allegedly saying "I'm tired of these insults to Islam" - and then stormed out of the event.
Less than an hour later, he returned with two others in a pre-planned revenge attack and started shooting.

A Typical Pork Recipe

We have the motive. Dietary insensitivity, destroying Sayed's safe space, is the cause of this latest tragedy. We must therefore ban guns and outlaw Christianity.

Problem? Solution.

Your Pal,

LSP

10 comments:

jenny said...

My stomach is confused. Your pics made me really hungry. The words made me lose my appetite.
The whole ordeal has me nauseous. But now I feel like eating bacon is vengeance...

Adrienne said...

We must therefore ban guns and outlaw Christianity.

But.......................ban pork? I think not.

LSP said...

There is logic in that path.

jenny said...

Here's the thing: if I were forbidden to eat bacon, I'd be prone to murder, also.

Perhaps our war against terrorism would be best fought by convincing Muslims that the Quran has a typo re: pork products?

LSP said...

I do lie a tasty pork chop, Adrienne -- note skillet/oven method...

LSP said...

Interesting Islamic reform point, Jenny. But seriously, is the present era their version of the 30 years+++ war, that ended in Westphalia? if so, good. But I think the conflict extends to Islam's DNA...

Love bacon.

LL said...

Putting stuffing INSIDE of pork chops always works and one of the ingredients to that stuffing should be bacon.

LSP said...

Bacon. So tasty.

lukeya said...

Nice chops Padre,mmmmmmmmmmmmm

I note that pork is freely available in Kenya where they do a very decent pork chop and bacon and I haven't seen any Kenyan muslims complaining about it. Mind you they don't tend to serve pork products at open for a. Had some superb Kenyan Pork Ribs last night.

Cheers

Lukeya

LSP said...

They were delicious, Lukeya!