Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Episcopal Church Hovers Over Fairfield, Texas?


A shocked witness was startled to see what appeared to be the Episcopal Church, hovering over the small East Texas town of Fairfield, population 2,951.

Fairfield, Texas

As the witness was "patrolling down County Road 2570" she saw a large moving object in the sky and heard a jet-like noise:

“This huge, very bright object, went up and traveled slowly to my right, I then heard this jet-like noise that ended as quickly as it started. I put the truck in gear and went down to County Road 833 and turned around. By this time it was coming back to the spot I had first noticed it."

UFO

After parking her vehicle to observe the mystery object, the witness noticed that it had lights on top of it, "They went from one side to the other and had a rhythm in its own pace. I believe it was the Episcopal Church.”

Jackass

Experts are undecided about the identity of the strange craft, with some believing it is a UFO from another galaxy or dimension and others stating that it's the Episcopal Church, "It could be a UFO, that's possible," said one expert, "but the object shows all the signs of being the Episcopal Church on a stealth mission to attack Fort Worth, or Dallas."

Episcopal Church?

UFO or the small but aggressive mystery denomination known as the Episcopal Church? You the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Selling Beans to the Saudis


Years ago I was selling things in Detroit and had to go to a meeting with a potential partner. He was a Brit, like me, and I asked him what he'd done before moving to the Elysian Fields of Troy and Porsche. Credentials pitch sort of thing.

"Selling beans to the Saudis."
"I used to be in the army too but now I'm an an Anglican priest that became a Roman Catholic."
"Oh yeah? What's the Lord's Prayer in Latin then?"
"Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum..."
"Right, I get it. Pass the sushi."


Nice Tailoring, Goof-Off

That was a long time ago and I made it out, mostly unscathed, from the Motorway City and back to Anglicanism. Some describe the denomination as "Old Mother Damnable." 

Make of this what you will,

LSP

I Love Texas

Secede

Unlike our NWO overlords in Washington I won't lie, it's good to be back in Texas. For me, this means reconnecting with the people in the Missions and various firearms. I was a bit worried to discover that my sporter Lee seemed to be shooting a bit low, so I tinkered about in the fierce wind chill. Low and behold, it was dead on! Not bad for a 97 year old rifle.

Get On Target, For God's Sake.

But ancient battle rifle porch projects aside, excitement's building as Opening Day of dove season is right 'round the corner. I drove out to a parishioner's farm to scout out the potential action.

Polled Herefords

There were plenty of dove, unlike last year, and more than a few rabbits. So things look promising; the plan is to set up at first light with my Wittgensteininan ally GWB and shoot some dove. Then grill them, popper style.

Hours of Hunting Fun

Of course the dove may choose Opening Day to make themselves scarce and I may forget how to shoot in the general excitement of the thing. But we'll see.

Behold Your Ruler

In the meanwhile we wait with bated breath for the most powerful man in the world to do something about his genocidal friends in Iraq, Syria and the Levant. Good luck with that and remember, it's all fun and games until they chop your buddy's head off.

Cheers,

LSP

Friday, August 29, 2014

Heading Home


All too soon my Northern exeat was over and I headed back across the bridge to the U.S., where I was given the third degree at the border by an overzealous border guard. "Why were you in Africa?" he asked. "For the hunting, officer." (I wish) But no matter, one truck search over and I was on my way. 

I want this building in Windsor

I stopped outside of Nashville, again, because I'm a traditionalist and I like El Jardin's Mexican food and frozen maragaritas. The next day I drove through to Dallas, stopping at Texarkana to gas up and get a hamburger. Some guy in a fishing shirt wandered over to a Yukon that was waiting in the drive-through line and started swearing at the driver, who looked understandably scared. I watched this from the comparative safety of the side of my pickup, waiting for the shot, but there wasn't one. A vicious little scene inside the Texarkana goldmine.

A Hippy.

An hour or two later Dallas rose out of the heat haze as the traffic roared into town from Rockwall. One day, I suppose, it'll be a ruin and, or, a very large mound, but for now the city prospers. It has few hippies, unlike Austin, where they're a menace.

Good to be back in Texas and, of course, the South.

LSP

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Bank Fishing the Detroit River and Lake Erie


Some people might argue that there isn't a lot to do in Windsor, Ontario, but they'd be wrong. You can go fishing on the Detroit river. Not having access to a boat - sort it out - I resorted to bank fishing. There's ready access to the river by the Ambassador Bridge and Langlois and Riverside, which is where I went.

Matty Moroun

I found the Bridge best, with lots of fish breaking the surface and one toxic looking catfish(?) following my 10" red plastic worm into the bank, only to sniff at it lazily and drift away. So, long story short, I didn't catch anything but had fun trying. 

"I just throw everything I've got in, eh."

Perhaps I was using the wrong lures and bait; word to the wise, there's plenty of minnows schooling by the bank so it's probably a good idea to take a bait net and use those. Next time. Regardless, it was neat to gaze out across the water at the seemingly normal face of Detroit but no foolin', it's a jungle out there.

Erieau Beach

Made it out to Erieau beach too and took the young 'uns for a bit of rod & reel fun on the promontory leading to the "light house". A beautiful, uncrowded beach, not dissimilar to Rehoboth but without the boardwalk, buildings, crowds and marauding gangs of tackheads that make the commercial Atlantic coast a misery. Well done Canada, you haven't wrecked Erieau.

Catch Some Fish! Or Try...

Annoyingly, the promontory was being over fished by the Japanese, who had a weird monopoly on the place. They trolled away and caught the occasional small mouth Bass, which they put in plastic buckets. Still, we cast away and got a few bites but no strikes. As with the Detroit river, fun trying.

It's not over, fish. (Spot the derelict train station)

Fish, you won this time. Don't get complacent.

Cheers,

LSP


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Road Trip, Dallas to Detroit and Windsor


Sometimes, in the summer, I head North to visit family and friends in Windsor and Detroit. I drove this time, via Memphis, Nashville and Cincinnati. Why? Because I wanted to see Kentucky and Tennessee, even if it was just from the road, and I liked the idea of the drive. "Get out and see something of America!" I thought, adventurously.

I like Tennessee

There was ferocious rain from Little Rock onwards, which forced me to stop at Kingston Springs, just outside of Nashville. Big relief to get off of the zero-viz highway and into the strangely good El Jardin Mexican restaurant. Tasty, cheap, fresh food and frozen margaritas that went down just right.

Cincinnati

The next day it was on to Cincinnati, Dayton, Toledo and Detroit. I always enjoy the last stretch of the drive. As you leave the well put together, speed-limit-abiding Ohio highway and get onto I75, the road becomes a pot-holed Mad Max slalom. Flak jacket on, you're getting close to the Motor(way) City.

O Canada!

I took the Ambassador Bridge into Windsor.

It was good to be back in Canada.

Cheers,

LSP

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Gun Rights


I like shooting, a lot, and I like the 2nd Amendment too, it's alright.



"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."



Hitler and Piers Morgan were against that. Piers is gone now, back to England. The Russians have what's left of the other one, or do they?

Shoot straight,

LSP

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Liturgical Dance Is Not Awesome


Some people think that liturgical dance is awesome.



They think it uplifts the spirit and expresses the ascent of the soul towards union with God Himself.



Deluded fools.

All for Texas.

LSP

Monday, August 4, 2014

Archbishop of Canterbury, Wire Guided Android?


Speculation is building that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, who is known as "Dobby", may be a guide-by-wire android.

Proof emerged during Dobby's tour to South Africa, where observers spotted a wire protruding from the back of the Archbishop's head. Previously considered a stand-alone, autonomous Artificial Intelligence (AI), it now appears that the Canterbury Class Churchbot is controlled.

Wire Guided

"All this time I thought of Dobby as sort of an autonomous evil droid - like the sorts on Star Wars. Sure, the Dark Side of the Force controlled him, but now this new revelation that he's wire guided. It's disturbing," stated a U.S. defense systems expert.

Droid

If true, the implications are worrying. What outside power is controlling the Dobby 'droid, and why? Who is at the other end of the wire; God, or something else?

LSP


Sunday, August 3, 2014

I Hate Clown Masses


Maybe you like Clown Masses. Maybe you don't think they're sinister and wrong.

Sinister

That'd be a bad mistake.

Typical Dobby, Goofing Off

God bless,

LSP

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Brandon Texas


I'll be driving off to Windsor/Detroit next week so I thought I should get some practice time at the range. That takes me through Brandon.

Brandon's Post Office

There's not a lot there, some dirt roads, a few houses, an abandoned Presbyterian church, a small Post Office and a Co-Op.

Brandon's Co-Op

Some people are afraid of places like Brandon. Perhaps they should be.

T Posts

I find the Brandonites I know friendly, unlike the Austin leftists who'll rip you off in the maze of a labyrinth and at the drop of a dreadlock.

Shoot, Ride, Fish

Shoot straight,

LSP

Friday, August 1, 2014

Obama, Putin's Poodle?


I'd say Dmitry Rogozin's photo tweet of Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama speaks for itself, but I'll leave you to guess which world leader has over 80% approval ratings at home. And supports the Church. Hint, it's not the Communist.

Cheers, 

LSP