Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Elton John Says Jesus Wants Gay Marriage

Legendary pop idol and Gene Robinson look-alike, Sir Elton John, has come out swinging against the Catholic Church, stating that Jesus would have been in favor of gay marriage if he was alive today.


In an interview this weekend with Sky News, the aging genius behind smash hits such as Rocket Man and Candle in the Wind, accused the church of being "old" and "stupid."


"These are old and stupid things," said the knighted pop superstar, referring to heterosexual marriage and clerical celibacy. Sir Elton went on to say that Jesus was a Christian person who would be in favor of homosexual priests marrying other men.

"If Jesus Christ was alive today," stated the legendary pianist, "I cannot see him, as the Christian person that he was and the great person that he was, saying this could not happen."


Like his separated-at-birth identical twin, Bishop Gene Robinson, Sir John wasn't shy of giving theological advice, telling his listeners about the nature of Christ and his Church, stating, "He (Jesus) was all about love and compassion and forgiveness and trying to bring people together, and that is what the church should be about."


Some believe that Elton John and Gene Robinson are the same person. In the words of one Doppelganger Industry expert, "have you seen them both at the same cocktail parties? No. I thought not."

Like his namesake, Bishop Gene Robinson, Elton John will be getting gay married, sometime this year.

Mind how you go 



Brighid said...

Playing God and being God like are two very different venues...

LL said...

I'm sure that if Elton gave up buggary, he could find forgiveness, but the first thing you have to do is to give up the sin.

And he clearly doesn't want to do that.

LSP said...

So true!

LSP said...

That's our Elton for you.

What a degenerate.

Anonymous said...

My mother always told me, never trust a man in a wig.

LSP said...

Sound advice from your Mother.

underground pewster said...

Jesus was a great guy who never talked about sin, judgment, and Hell. I wonder where Sir Elton learned that?

LSP said...

Nowhere good...

Michael Peterson said...

I had no idea Elton John was a theologian. You learn something every day.

Say a prayer for us Canucks. Shooter on Parliament Hill, killed a young soldier guarding our National War Memorial. One shooter dead, possibly more on the loose.

LSP said...

I saw that, Padre.

Will definitely say a prayer. Do we know who/why the attack?

As for Elton... what a theological mastermynde.

the egyptian said...

what a theological mastermynde.

Odd i thought he was a fairy, a very talented fairy but a fairy non the less

an uber fairy

BTW I don't believe in PC crap either

LSP said...

You're right.

He's a faerie.

Alan said...

It's the line "If Jesus was alive today" rather gives away Sir Elton's lack of belief. To a Christian Jesus is alive, as are all those who have faith in Him as the risen Christ. Accordingly, it appears to be the equivalent of an atheist not actually interpreting Scripture but trying to impose his own personal issues on others.
Of course, it's inevitable that Sir E. would pick on Christianity to say this. He would not make the same sort of comment relating to Islam.

LSP said...

Good point, but then again, given the theological knowledge of the average CofE pulpit potato... Well, Sir Elton John, D.Min., might very well be a Rural Dean, or Suffragan Bishop.

Just a thought.