Wednesday, September 19, 2012

From Here To Qeternity

descent of the damned

Acting in solidarity with those unfortunate enough to have money deposited in Spanish banks, I decided   to cash out my spare change box, while the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters it held still had some kind of value.

LSP savings and loans
I'd use that money, I figured, to buy some epoxy and blue tape to bed the barreled receiver of my Lee Enfield Mk. III sporter. But quickly! Before tape and steel putty cost a bergan full of worthless magicke currencie.

With a sense of fiscal cliff urgency I drove to the local supermarket, box of change in hand, and loaded it into Coinstar, which turns your metal money into a redeemable IOU, for a fee.

how much does it cost?

I didn't care about the fee. I just wanted the money, fast, while it could still buy something. So I emptied the box into the machine. Clang, clunk, went the cash. $53.65 went the Coinstar, on its screen, and then it stopped working. "Sorry, I've seen your money, but I can't give it to you," stated the mechanical thief.

"Customer Service" was no use because the talent was busy talking to a policewoman about a picture on his CCTV (close circuit television) and I began to panic. Would I ever get my money? Will I get arrested for asking? I got the cash and avoided prison, in the end, and by some miracle Coinstar Currency still had fractional buying power.

oh. dear.

But don't worry. If we print enough money then everyone will become rich!

Just like in Rhodesia Zimbabwe.



Mattexian said...

Thanks for reminding us of the fate that befell the once great country of Rhodesia. I'm a late student of it's history, and I'm troubled by some of the similarities I see between it and the US. Both surrounded by commie insurgents, both harried from outside by international condemnation for her politics... I suppose one could add that both elected a black man as president who promised gifts to all from the labor of the producers, while demonizing those same producers.

Silverfiddle said...

OK, now I get it. QEternity...

At first I thought you were describing an obscure area of the Pashtun belt...

Yes, we'll all be millionaires by the time Bernanke's done!

Infidel de Manahatta said...

$53.65? Why that's about as much as I'd pay for the definitely not fake "Jesus Wife" papyrus.

G. Tingey said...

Well done the Bushes, for getting you in to this mess (Un-paid for wars)
and to the current lot(s) for doing nothing about it, because they are too busy faction-fighting.

lukeya said...

You've lived in Texas too long LSP - time to come home to reality...

LSP said...

Ah hah! Lukeya.

Hope your return to the Old country wasn't too fraught.

But England? Reality? Can't own a pistol there, old boy.

Give my best to all.