Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Clergy Deployment

Once a year the clergy of the diocese of Fort Worth go on retreat at Montserrat, which is a Jesuit house on Lake Dallas. It's a silent retreat, except for the first evening, which features the civilised custom of a cocktail hour followed by supper.

I sat with the bishops and suggested a new deployment strategy for incoming clergy. It went like this:

LSP: Bishops! I have a new deployment strategy for the diocese.

Bishops: Yes?

LSP: It's very simple.

Bishops: Good.

LSP: Yes.

Bishops: Well, what is it?

LSP: If you can't ride and you don't shoot you can't get in.

Bishops: Ah.

The assorted prelates seemed to like the wisdom of my plan and I look forward to its implementation in the coming years.

Stay on the horse and shoot straight.




bluesun said...

You'd probably weed out most of the aliens with such a plan.

LSP said...

Exactly! I think it would help things considerably, Bluesun.

Adrienne said...

Since you won't have your horsey and a gun, perhaps you could throw a few prayers our way...

LSP said...

I definitely will, Adrienne.

Katheryn Lane said...

Sounds like a winning plan!

LSP said...

KL -- you know it makes sense.

Infidel de Manahatta said...

I believe you've hit upon a winning formula.

Though I believe the Bishops might be just a little nervous to have armed priests.

LSP said...

Good point, Infidel.

We'd have to implement a fairly rigorous weapons training program. Much more use than, say, "liturgy workshops" -- not that we have those here in Fort Worth. Thank God.